Remembered more fondly than it probably should be, this cult comedy tee-hees a certain other space opera via the zany guise of intergalactic swashbuckling in pursuit of riches -- or for sci-fi purposes -- AGUA! However, after yours truly's careful consideration amid about three too many robot battles, the subtext really seems more to do with the round-about procurement of poontang.

Robert Urich is a space pirate smitten with Mary Crosby's Ice Princess (honest!) and, along with merry minions Ron Perlman and John Matuszak, he horndogs across the universe doing her bodacious bidding in hope of laying hands on her frosty booty. Not that she's opposed. In fact, it's through her direct intervention that a snapping BEAR TRAP meant for his nethers misses its mark, allowing Mr. Urich and cyberneticist sidekick Michael D. Roberts to falsetto their way out of said castration camp and into temporary, though spandex'd servitude at a daffy disco before resuming their cheeky cavalcade of double entendres.

That's Anjelica Huston (!?!) as the snarling she-pirate who's a little TOO comfortable with cold steel and patent leather and is also prone to the ham-fisted sapphic symbolism of lopping off the heads of dang near every man she meets. But, but, but does Dan Tanna score? Well, unlike that whiney Skywalker kiddo, he fares far better than a tonsil tango with his own honey-bun coifed SISTER!!! CineSchlockers don't dare blink or they'll miss the immortal John Carradine very nearly breathing his last as an evil (and bedridden) "Supreme Commander."

No breasts. 10 corpses. One plucked parrot. Gratuitous jazz hands. Cat fighting. Gratuitous robo pimp. Multiple decapitations. Level-5 Bruce Vilanch alert. Gratuitous urination. Kung fu robots. Fast mo. Erotic "crashing waves" montage. It's tough being a pirate in the Space Age: "What happened to 'We rape! We pillage!' ?"

2.5 of 5 stars

Recommended Video: 3 Audio: 3 Extras: .5 Replay: 1

1984, 94 mins, 1.85:1 anam, DD mono, Trailer.

Recently received at CineSchlock-O-Rama HQ ...

As requested, I've perused and Highly Recommend the disc. It's a best-of-the-best mix of The Damn! Show's previous homegrown DVDs -- only this time the content's actually been lawyered. (Gee, you mean the Frank Sinatra estate wouldn't want "New York, New York" associated with Yucko!?!) From my previous take on Yucko and pals:

"If a homosexual tryst involving Don Rickles, Jackie Mason and Ronald McDonald were to produce alcoholic offspring, it just might begin to explain Yucko the Clown -- a walking "F@#& YOU!" in floppy shoes and a big red nose."

A-TEN-HUT, YOU MISERABLE MAGGOTS!!!

Hard-charging CineSchlocker idol R. Lee Ermey celebrates his birthday today. OOOOOO-RAH!!!

I'm all aflutter about The Devil's Rejects (July 22). Have been ever since Comic-Con. That's where I saw a cobbled-together, unofficial teaser trailer featuring a certain murder-minded trio slow-mo strutting to the Allman Brothers Band's "Midnight Rider!" Can't say the official teaser fosters the same abject enthusiasm.

There's hope, though, as Rob Zombie says in his blog -- yeah, even HE is into this nonsense -- that a brand-spanking new trailer will hit theaters in front of Frank Miller's Sin City on April 1st! What makes this especially worth noting is that it gives me the excuse to show ...

Now, if y'all aren't irreversibly distracted, it's also noteworthy that Rob's really high on the score:

"Well, I just got back from hearing some of Tyler Bates final arrangements for The Devil's Rejects and all I can say is YES! This truely is the most intense score I've ever heard. I can't wait to unleash this thing. Totally Insane. Tyler drove himself crazy perfecting this score and man it pays off."

After seeing Matt Damon yukking it up in grisly promos for Project Greenlight, it was odd, yet not terribly surprising, to see him rear up on his Hollywood high horse during tonight's third-season debut. With two cinematic strikes against it, the floundering experiment in power-to-the-peeps filmmaking finds itself banished from the promised land of HBO and, more distressing to Mr. Damon, locked in a deal with the devil (and Wes Craven) to make a "marketable" HORROR movie via Miramax's gutter-dwelling kin at Dimension Films:

- "To stumble back into the Greenlight family and see THIS is where it had landed was shocking for me -- and infuriating!!!"

- "Do you believe in Feast because you can make it for a price and you can flip it for a bigger price? Or do you believe in Feast because you really think it's the best movie? ... You're sitting two seats away from the Master of Horror who's telling you it SUCKS!!!"

Is the former lead singer of RATT really a selling point? Tempe Video reckons so in their chipper press release announcing Stephen Pearcy goes "Round and Round" as Camp Utopia's rock 'n' roll crooner turned murderous cult leader:

In 1969, in a small hippie commune in Northern California, Timothy Bach (Pearcy) -- a self-proclaimed guru -- maintained a hypnotic hold on his followers. On June 23, something went terribly wrong in the free love and peace commune. In an apparent drug-induced frenzy, Bach began slaughtering his followers. He then disappeared into the night, never to be heard from again. More than 30 years later, five teenagers return to the site of “Camp Utopia.” And now, what happened back then...is happening again. Has the evil cult leader returned? Or is it something far worse...

Uh oh! Could that "something far worse" have anything to do with the fact Mr. Pearcy's music will also be featured between courses of camper meat? Guess it's like the trailer warns: "Sometimes the past can come back to KILL YOU!"

Go on. Admit it. You wanna see it.

Update: Denied! No filthy, dirty sapphic spoofs on national television. However, my close, personal friend Tommy Habeeb of Cheaters fame overwhelmingly sold the audience on Stag: Last Night of Freedom. From a past Critical Mass: "His half-hour pilot salaciously birddogs Randy and April as they gingerly navigate nefarious rites of passage toward wedded bliss -- with some eye-popping detours. Tommy says it best: 'I don't believe I'll ever be able to look at whip cream the same way again!' "

ei Cinema reports Lord of the G-Strings: The Femaleship of the String will likely be featured on the March 8th Tonight Show with Jay Leno as part of the witless talk show's "Pitch to America" schtick. Apparently, Tonight Show producers stumbled on ei Cinema's booth at a Las Vegas trade show where they noticed a certain Misty Mundae and Darian Caine slathered poster and asked the New Jersey sleazemeisters to "pitch" the movie to Jay's geriatric fans. Clearly Leno's minions understand the ratings clout of horn'd up lesbians, because they're "99-percent certain" the pitch will be included along with clips from the 4-star CineSchlocker fave. (Doubt this one will make the reel!)

Ronald Moore's so goldang excited about his hit Battlestar Galactica retool that he's up and joined the blossoming world of podcasting. Download a full-length audio commentary for Episode 9: Tigh Me Up, Tigh Me Down. Future tracks are promised, but for now, there's also about 20 deleted scenes available online.

Amid due Devil's Rejects delirium, Rob Zombie's joined the cryptozoological craze with his coyly-titled comic -- Bigfoot. The first of a 4-issue series just hit stands featuring a cover inspired by the infamous Patterson film and tells the "true-horror" story of "a monstrous ape-man stomping around the woods of the Pacific Northwest [who's] not happy with mankind." Rob's not-so-funny book is intended for mature readers due to gore and melon-heavy nekkidness.

Meanwhile, the big hairy fella also seems to be enjoying an inexplicable revival in fringe cinema circles via such entries as Lance Henriksen's Sasquatch, the in-name-only sequel Sasquatch Hunters (a.k.a. Primeval), the B-star studded Abominable, the alleged comedy Among Us and the recently-wrapped Bigfoot.