The Movie

Let me get some self-indulgent crap out of the way, and I'll jump right into a discussion of this idiotic movie.

Admittedly, I am so the wrong person to review a "movie" like You Got Served. I was about 12 or so when breakdancing was The Big Thing. We're talking that juicy 18 month period that erupted like a supernova with 1983's Flashdance and imploded like a submerged fart with 1984's Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo. Now what the latter did - other than providing every would-be Garrison Keillor the license to attach the film's subtitle to any proposed sequel, thinking with self-amused wonderment that they're the very first person to do it - is put to death a dark and disturbing chapter in popular culture history. In my junior high, the battle lines were fiercely drawn: you were either a metal-head or a breakdancer... or a freethinking, independent person who didn't feel so insecure that they had to ally themselves to a particularly stupid-minded ideology. But what did we know? We were frickin' twelve, man.

Breakdancers were the epitome of pissants, to us. While they were jamming Herbie Hancock's "Rocket" and "Jam On It" and other such nonsense, we fought back with Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, the Scorpions, Van Halen, Dokken, and... um, other such nonsense. Breakdancers were sissy little girls in their... in their parachute pants, and baggy jackets, and headbands. Meanwhile we owned their pansy asses with our... um, our, uh, leather, spandex, hairspray, and uh... OK, to hell with it. We were all moronic little piss-heads. Everyone at twelve is.

So today's moronic little piss-head can take comfort in the fact that, twenty-plus years from now, they're going to look back at You Got Served and chuckle themselves silly. In the meantime, let's examine this movie. The plot is utterly inconsequential. David (Omarion) and Elgin (Marques Houston) play two lifelong friends who also lead a dance crew hoping to win The Big Contest at the end of the movie... and that's just about it, folks. Oh sure, there's some subplot action involving double-crosses, romantic conflicts, and what-not, but it's all pitifully directed, painfully acted, and horrifically edited. I don't think there's a single shot during a dance sequence that lasts for more than 1.36 seconds, resulting in an erratic, herky-jerky delivery, which is sure to generate seizures in even the staunchest of man-folk.

But then, anyone watching You Got Served and expecting Ikiru is only fooling themselves. The dance sequences are the real stars of this movie, because god knows barely anyone else in this train wreck can act. And they are, simply put, rather impressive and often quite spectacular. In fact, this whole movie feels like a music video interrupted with snippets from a really awful movie. Remember Paula Abdul's Hush Hush video, in which she "acts" alongside Keanu Reeves? Imagine that going on for about 90 minutes, only with some better dance moves and only slightly worse "acting".

So by any objective standards, You Got Served is a wash when the dance scenes disappear and are replaced with something resembling a storyline. The movie may not feature my type of music, culture, or dancing -- speaking of the latter, I wouldn't mind seeing a film featuring people in their early-30s who kick major tail doing either the Cabbage Patch or the Running Man -- but I can still appreciate the talent that goes into making some of these moves a reality. But limp acting, clichéd plot contrivances, and paper-thin characterizations and will deep-six any movie. Especially one as lightweight as You Got Served.

The DVD

Video:

You Got Served is presented in its original theatrical aspect radio of 1.85:1, and has been anamorphically enhanced for your widescreen-viewing entertainment. The transfer looks mostly solid, with bright colors, excellent sharpness levels and fine detail. Some of the indoor scenes look a little hazy at times, and I noticed some edge-enhancement on some of the more contrasted scenes, but overall this is a very good transfer.

Audio: