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Killer Tomatoes Strike Back
Fox // PG // September 6, 2005
List Price: $14.98 [Buy now and save at Amazon]
My name is Adam Tyner, and I'm a killer tomato addict. Got hooked on the first two movies through an installment of USA Up All Night fifteen years ago and nearly wore the tape I made thin. I built the first Killer Tomatoes site on the web way back in 1997. I watched the cartoon religiously -- even the 
wretched computer-animated second season. I have stacks of videos, Laserdiscs, action figures, and a plush FT doll in a makeshift shrine in the other room. I mention this not because I'm narcissistic...well, not just because I'm narcissistic...but so that when I say that Killer Tomatoes Strike Back is an awful, awful movie, you'll know it's from the mouth of someone who (sniffles!) cares.
Before he was a multimillionaire and married an overinflated, middle-aged stranger on national TV, Rick Rockwell starred as Detective Lance Boyle -- and yes, that's what passes for comedy in this movie -- in Killer Tomatoes Strike Back, the third entry in the epic Killer Tomatoes saga. There's been a rash of tomato-based murders in San Diego (although I think it's just referred to as "the city" for the entire length of the movie), and Lance and his partner Detective Rood (John Witherspoon) are on the case. Lance reluctantly teams up with leggy tomatologist Kennedi Johnson (Crystal Carson) in an attempt to thwart the red menace. Yup, Professor Gangreen (John Astin) is at it again, and the scheme of the week involves posing as trash TV sensation Jeronahew and brainwashing the mindless masses into doing his bidding.
I hated Killer Tomatoes Strike Back when I first bought it on Laserdisc in the early '90s, and I hate it...well, maybe a little less now, but only because I've suffered through a lot worse in the years since. The short version is that it's a comedy that's painfully, excruciatingly, agonizingly, and whatever-else-thesaurus.com-would-say-if-I-spent-three-or-four-seconds-searching unfunny. The gags in Killer Tomatoes Strike Back are a lot safer and less
imaginative than the off-kilter stuff in Return of the Killer Tomatoes. That, coupled with the fact that it stars a bumbling cop, feels like it's trying to tear a couple pages out of The Naked Gun's playbook, except for the part where The Naked Gun was kinda funny.
Targets include poking fun at such sacred cows as tabloid TV, infomercials, and the way scantily-clad co-eds become even more scantily-clad while darting through the woods in slasher flicks. There's a Psycho spoof where tomato juice very, very predictably sputters down the drain. Another bit has Lance with a tube over his mouth, making mock-scuba noises and pretending to be swimming through a hallway while doing a Jacques Cousteau impression. Lance follows Kennedi to the San Diego Zoo, holding a map over his face with eyeholes cut out, and...oh no, I think that seal is going to splash water on him! TV's turning people into zombies, literally and figuratively! Get it? Get it?!? The scene with Kevin West squealing in the bank makes me want to track down a rifle and a water tower, and all the faux-romantic tension between Kennedi and Lance...ugh. Okay, I can try to say something nice. Lance gets bonus points for tooling around in a Nash Metropolitan, I kinda like the tomato puppets, and Crystal Carson is pretty hot. That's it. Even though my reviews usually ramble on for at least another couple of paragraphs, I really don't want to waste any more time thinking or writing about Killer Tomatoes Strike Back.
Video: This is a fifteen year old direct-to-video flick, so...yeah. Full-frame. It's a pretty nice looking DVD; a handful of shots are grainier and not as well defined as the rest, but for the most part, it's reasonably sharp, detailed, and colorful. The cinematography's not that...cinematic, looking more like a hyper-saturated rerun of In the
Heat of the Night or something than a movie, but even if the photography's cheap looking, I don't really have any complaints about the technical end of things.
Audio: Dolby Digital stereo (192Kbps). Neal Fox's soundtrack comes through pretty well, and the film's dialogue is intelligible, if kinda dated. Alright. A stereo Spanish dub, English closed captions, and subtitles in English and Spanish are also tossed in there.
Supplements: Nothin' -- just plugs for some other Fox DVDs.
The DVD sports a set of 4x3 static menus, and the movie's been sliced up into 28 chapter stops. No insert, and the cover art's completely different than the video and Laserdisc releases on the off-chance anyone's keeping track.
Conclusion: Only worthwhile if you have the other three Killer Tomatoes DVDs and feel obligated to round out the collection. Skip It.
wretched computer-animated second season. I have stacks of videos, Laserdiscs, action figures, and a plush FT doll in a makeshift shrine in the other room. I mention this not because I'm narcissistic...well, not just because I'm narcissistic...but so that when I say that Killer Tomatoes Strike Back is an awful, awful movie, you'll know it's from the mouth of someone who (sniffles!) cares. Before he was a multimillionaire and married an overinflated, middle-aged stranger on national TV, Rick Rockwell starred as Detective Lance Boyle -- and yes, that's what passes for comedy in this movie -- in Killer Tomatoes Strike Back, the third entry in the epic Killer Tomatoes saga. There's been a rash of tomato-based murders in San Diego (although I think it's just referred to as "the city" for the entire length of the movie), and Lance and his partner Detective Rood (John Witherspoon) are on the case. Lance reluctantly teams up with leggy tomatologist Kennedi Johnson (Crystal Carson) in an attempt to thwart the red menace. Yup, Professor Gangreen (John Astin) is at it again, and the scheme of the week involves posing as trash TV sensation Jeronahew and brainwashing the mindless masses into doing his bidding.
I hated Killer Tomatoes Strike Back when I first bought it on Laserdisc in the early '90s, and I hate it...well, maybe a little less now, but only because I've suffered through a lot worse in the years since. The short version is that it's a comedy that's painfully, excruciatingly, agonizingly, and whatever-else-thesaurus.com-would-say-if-I-spent-three-or-four-seconds-searching unfunny. The gags in Killer Tomatoes Strike Back are a lot safer and less
imaginative than the off-kilter stuff in Return of the Killer Tomatoes. That, coupled with the fact that it stars a bumbling cop, feels like it's trying to tear a couple pages out of The Naked Gun's playbook, except for the part where The Naked Gun was kinda funny. Targets include poking fun at such sacred cows as tabloid TV, infomercials, and the way scantily-clad co-eds become even more scantily-clad while darting through the woods in slasher flicks. There's a Psycho spoof where tomato juice very, very predictably sputters down the drain. Another bit has Lance with a tube over his mouth, making mock-scuba noises and pretending to be swimming through a hallway while doing a Jacques Cousteau impression. Lance follows Kennedi to the San Diego Zoo, holding a map over his face with eyeholes cut out, and...oh no, I think that seal is going to splash water on him! TV's turning people into zombies, literally and figuratively! Get it? Get it?!? The scene with Kevin West squealing in the bank makes me want to track down a rifle and a water tower, and all the faux-romantic tension between Kennedi and Lance...ugh. Okay, I can try to say something nice. Lance gets bonus points for tooling around in a Nash Metropolitan, I kinda like the tomato puppets, and Crystal Carson is pretty hot. That's it. Even though my reviews usually ramble on for at least another couple of paragraphs, I really don't want to waste any more time thinking or writing about Killer Tomatoes Strike Back.
Video: This is a fifteen year old direct-to-video flick, so...yeah. Full-frame. It's a pretty nice looking DVD; a handful of shots are grainier and not as well defined as the rest, but for the most part, it's reasonably sharp, detailed, and colorful. The cinematography's not that...cinematic, looking more like a hyper-saturated rerun of In the
Heat of the Night or something than a movie, but even if the photography's cheap looking, I don't really have any complaints about the technical end of things. Audio: Dolby Digital stereo (192Kbps). Neal Fox's soundtrack comes through pretty well, and the film's dialogue is intelligible, if kinda dated. Alright. A stereo Spanish dub, English closed captions, and subtitles in English and Spanish are also tossed in there.
Supplements: Nothin' -- just plugs for some other Fox DVDs.
The DVD sports a set of 4x3 static menus, and the movie's been sliced up into 28 chapter stops. No insert, and the cover art's completely different than the video and Laserdisc releases on the off-chance anyone's keeping track.
Conclusion: Only worthwhile if you have the other three Killer Tomatoes DVDs and feel obligated to round out the collection. Skip It.
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