I'm sure I'm not alone when I say that I loved Wynorski's sophomore effort, Chopping Mall, but, hands down, Deathstalker II (1987) is my favorite. In fact, Deathstalker II is still one of my favorite films to this day, a sword and sorcery epic with equal parts camp and sex that skewers the genre as much as reveres it, all on a DIY budget that would make Roger Corman proud. Not to mention a delicious dual role for former Penthouse Pet, Monique Gabrielle. While none of his other films have achieved the same level of schlock greatness (that same year's Big Bad Mama II came awfully close), he's continued to make movies that appeal to a very specific audience, showcasing ladies endowed with massive mammaries and in the case of The Witches Of Breastwick combining hooters with horror.

Again working under his H.R. Blueberry pseudonym Wynorski's The Witches Of Breastwick begins with everyman David (Matt Dalpiaz) suffering mental anguish and sleepless nights over a recurring dream in which he's seduced and apparently murdered in the middle of the woods by a trio of buxom babes. His psychiatrist, who mind you holds his sessions in the same kind of large meeting room that one would rent out at the local Ramada Inn, chalks it up to repressed sexual desires, suggests he cheat on his wife and that should cure him. David, a seemingly upstanding guy, tells his shrink that he loves his wife and he's going to find the woods from his dream to get to the root of his problem. The good Dr. is just glad he leaves so that his secretary, played by the petite blonde Jodie Moore, can bring him some files before giving him a sexy striptease. We can only assume that she takes dictation as the scene ends when she does.

David and his wife Tiffany (the red-haired Monique Parent and yes, the carpet matches the curtains), possibly the most understanding wife in film history, head to the country to find the woods from his dream. After making a quick pit stop to stretch their legs, Tiffany is reminded of their courtship and decides to rekindle those old feelings right there, nude, in the woods. Rather than cuddling, spooning or even having a cigarette, David is back on the trail and a dead tree lets him know he's getting close. Unfortunately, some car trouble prevents the couple from making it off the top of the mountain. When they walk to a remote house, which incidentally was also used in Lust Connection, for help they're greeted by Lola (the ever enticing Julie K. Smith), whom David immediately recognizes as one of the women from his dream. They make a quick phone call and find out that a tow truck won't be there for hours and Lola offers them some drugged wine in the meantime.

Lola is part of a trio of "writers," along with Rebecca (Wynorksi's current muse, the blonde and buxom Glori-Anne Gilbert) and Felicia (played by the busty porn staple Stormy Daniels). Apparently these three are spending time in these woods to learn and write about the legend of a local witch dubbed LaCacanya, when in actuality they are followers of the dead woman seeking to resurrect her. David and Tiffany, feeling the effects of the wine, decide to stay in the house with the potentially dangerous women rather than try and make their escape. While David sleeps Tiffany heads to the hot tub for a slippery threesome sandwiched between Rebecca and Felicia's giant juggs. Stormy's porno past is definitely a plus in the girl-girl action, as she appears to really be enjoying herself, while Glori-Anne shamelessly mugs for the camera.

David wakes to find Lola in his room and tells her that she and her friends have been appearing in his dreams. She quickly seduces him and they make love on the bed. Afterwards, the three witches convene in the woods for an evil dance party… no really. It seems that they need to dance and strip in front of a bonfire to techno music in order to channel their evil powers. With them out of the house, David is visited by Holly (Taimie Hannum) who makes love to David in order to break the spell the witches have him under. Sadly, as the scene takes place in the same room as his sleeping wife, David doesn't think to turn on a light leaving the action, and us in the dark. Thankfully, the spell appears to be intact as Glori-Anne has her way with him the following day in the woods, but the stark contrast of their outdoor antics and the same thumping techno music add some unintentional humor to what should have been a hot scene.

Once back at the house, Tiffany retires for some highly anticipated Sapphic sudsing courtesy of Lola and Rebecca's big bubbles, while David is led back out into the woods so that Felicia can take her turn with the luckiest man on the planet. I mean sure, he's eventually going to be murdered by this coven of large lunged lasses, but not before each and every one of them has their way with him, not to mention defiling his wife as well. You know, if there was one thing missing, it would probably be the lack of a scene between David, Tiffany and any number of witches thrown into the mix. When Felicia and David finally get around to doing it in the woods, Stormy once again comes through bringing all her hardcore skills to this softcore flick making for one of the hotter scenes. Afterwards, David awakes to find himself abandoned in the woods with no sign of his wife or the witches, who await him at the pit of sacrifice. Since only four minutes remain at this point in the film, I'm not giving anything away.

I guess that more than anything, The Witches Of Breastwick improves upon the formula of one man and several women he hit upon with b>Lust Connection by including several lesbian couplings as well. Now that I think of it, it seems that he says away entirely from a man with multiple partners at the same time. I mean, is there some kind of a standard in the "late nite," "made-for-cable," "straight-to-video," "Skinemax" softcore feature that a threesome like that would violate? I don't make the rules, but I really wish I could be a fly on the wall for these writing meetings to see what the mentality is behind these on-screen couplings. As I said earlier, it probably would have been hot to have his wife appear in a scene with David and any one of the witches, but again I guess that would violate the "one man/one woman" clause.

The DVD:

Picture: This movie is presented in a 1.78:1 aspect ratio, and much like the earlier Lust Connection, looks better than any erotic thriller shot on DV has any right to look, with a crisp, clear picture.

Audio: The Dolby 2.0 Stereo Track sounds fine and while I enjoyed most of the music that takes over the audio track during any of the coupling scenes, at times it felt inappropriate to a specific situation.

Extras: Seduction Cinema has included an impressive array of Extras on this disc including a commentary track by Wynorski and Gilbert, a vintage short "Naughty Vintage Peep Show" (1965) featuring a Marilyn Monroe look-a-like stripping and smoking, and the Trailer Vaults featuring dozens of trailers from both Seduction and Retro-Seduction Cinema. However, the best bonus has to be the addition of another "feature" film: Vampire Call Girls (1998).

Vampire Call Girls begins with the amply endowed Miss Gilbert riding a washing machine in nothing but her thong. No explanation is given and none is really necessary as she writhes and grinds on the machine through each of its wash cycles. As she loads her wet clothes into the dryer, she apologizes to the creepy nerd who's been whacking it to her appliance-induced orgasm. She then spreads a sheet on the floor of the laundry room and proceeds to squeeze a thick white cream (Is it Mayo? Could it be Elmer's glue?) onto her body and writhe around on the ground. After her outfit is dry, she gets dressed (Why?) in order to pleasure her "client," the creepy nerd from earlier, but once she gets upstairs she finds that he's finished well ahead of her so she gives him the bite. That's right, she's one of the "vampire call girls" of the title.

Next up is the film's director Everette Hartsoe, who incidentally also directed the Glori-Anne Gilbert vehicle Night Vamps, playing comic book creator Bill who seems to be relating a dream (Hartsoe, taking a page from The Wizard Of Oz, films his "reality" in black and white and his "dream" in color) he has in which he orders up a call girl for some fun while away on a business trip. We see Candy (Roxanne Michaels) showering before getting the call to head over to Bills. Candy of course is another "vampire call girl" and Bill is about to become her second victim this night. Candy shows up to Bill's hotel room and proceeds to do a sexy striptease, but once she bares her fangs (along with some goofy sped-up camera effects) Bill takes off. Candy is left horny, hungry and alone, but thankfully Misty (Lisa Ann DeVaul), undoubtedly another "vampire call girl" shows up in a rolling fog to take care of her needs as only another woman could.

The next day, a perturbed Bill calls back the Night Vamps escort agency to try and get his money back. Meanwhile, "vampire call girl" Roxy (the intriguing Lilith Stabs, rocking the two-tone "goth" hair) is hanging out at a bar watching one the worst bands ever put to film (Billy Ray Cyrus called, he wants his hair back!) along with a couple of guys that bear more than a passing resemblance to "Jay" and "Silent Bob" from the back. Flash forward to after the show where the band's Cyrus-esque lead singer is tied up in preparation for Roxy to give him a rather disappointing striptease, she doesn't even get topless, which is a shame because she was one of the only all-natural girls in this flick. Once she puts the bite on the rocker, we're back to watching Bill, possibly the cheapest man on the planet, trying to get his money back from a bunch of "vampire call girls." One good thing is that Misty is back and decides to hop in the shower.

Bill finally confronts Heather, the leader of the "vampire call girl" gang, who immediately plys him with drugged wine and then ties him up for some erotic "torture." After Heather bumps and grinds him into submission, Misty lays down on him for some erotic "torture" of her own, as Roxy (who seems to really get off on the whole dominatrix thing) drips hot candle was all over her bare breasts. Afterwards, she decides to have poor trussed-up Bill as a late-night snack. As she sinks her fangs into his manhood, Bill wakes up screaming from his terrible dream… since he was relating this story to his friends all along, although that doesn't explain all the moments that occurred without Bill even being around. Now that we're firmly back in the "real" world (as evidenced by the B&W cinematography) there's a final twist. Bills friends have ordered up a couple of escorts to entertain him for his birthday, but the girls that show up are, you guessed it, Heather and Misty, the "vampire call girls" from Bill's dream. The girls put on a decent show (shame about the B&W) before killing the revelers, while Bill learns that it wasn't a dream at all and that he's been turned into a vampire himself. The End. I'm not even going to mention the video/audio quality, but it looks like it was shot on VHS.

Conclusion: While not up to the standard that Wynorski's previous Lust Connection set in terms of plot and pacing, The Witches Of Breastwick is a step in the right direction for the cult director and I'm looking forward to his next "Blueberry" feature, whatever that might be. It seems that with the current cultural climate, a lot of the skin industry is going underground, I mean why buy ask for "Playboy" (I know, I know, no one reads "Playboy," it's just an example) behind the counter when "Maxim," "Stuff" and a slew of other magazines are out on the rack? Maybe that's one of the reasons a company like "Seduction Cinema" exists, to fill the void so to speak. Sadly, what passes for adult movies on cable is so sanitized as to be almost unwatchable when compared to what's on the Internet or, of course, actual pornography still available at Mom & Pop video shops or through online retailers. The Witches Of Breastwick, like Lust Connection, is a cut above "Seduction Cinema" usual offerings and even though it's definitely softcore it's also kind of fun if you know what to expect. Rent It.