Bare Naked Survivor is a colossal waste of time. The film looks like it cost a few hundred bucks to put together (the cast's salary withstanding) and watches like a lackluster movie without much to pull you in or keep your interest. Sure there are some pretty girls who jump around with no tops on, but what's the point? There isn't much of a point and there isn't much of a reason to watch Bare Naked Survivor.
There are a few things you, as a reader, should know about me when reading this review.
1. I am not a big fan of parody-style films. I usually do not find them funny.
2. I have never watched Survivor, the television series this movie parodies.
Ergo, I am not in the target audience for this movie. The question follows, are you? Read on to find out.
In a nutshell, Bare Naked Survivor offers little as a movie. It has poorly written script, acting that is as terrible as can be, and random bouts of nudity that come off as a cheap attempt to keep your interest. The story follows a group of girls who are selected to survive on their wits and beauty on the mythical tropical island Butta Cheeka. The girls are put on the island with no food, food clothes, and no men (except there is some food, they have clothes, tents, Tiki torches, and the host is a man).
The cast consists of producer Lenny Juliano as the host Cliff Probate, Ruby Sparrow (Julie K. Smith), ex-Navy Seal, Babette LaRoux (Shauna O'Brien), hot dog vendor, Dallas Wigglesbutt (Tess Broussard), sports medicine expert, Angela Adams (Aimee Sweet), pro surfer, Cheryl Church (Alexus Winston), Sunday school teacher, and Monica Snatch (Aria Giovanni), shrink. The girls play their respective girls with an over-the-top approach and try to generate comedy through their odd interactions, as well as the host Probate continually drools over the girls and makes an ass of himself.
The format of Bare Naked Survivor follows a goofy rendition of a reality television series, complete with cast interviews talking about themselves, the other cast members, some recent event, and random boobie flashes. Sprinkled throughout the movie are scenes with one of the girls stripping down naked and jumping up and down, which usually has little baring to what is happening overall. There are also a couple of scenes where the girls get a little friendly with each other, but there is no graphic footage.
In the end, Bare Naked Survivor is not much more than an hour and a half of poorly attempted comical feats mixed with pretty girls who like to get naked. In addition to my displeasure with the content of the feature, the technical aspects of the video are nothing to be proud of. The picture is blocky and rough, and not very appealing for a feature film. Overall, I cannot recommend this film, but I can suggest you skip it.
The video is presented in 1.33:1 ratio full frame color. The picture looks less than decent. Visually there are flaws, with color representation poor and a rough/blocky image.
The audio is presented in 2.0 channel stereo sound. The track is audible and it is easy to hear dialogue throughout the feature.
Bonus features include an outtakes reel, photo gallery, and trailers for Womb Raider (forced when the DVD loads), The Girl Next Door, Online, Pariah, and Gory Gory Hallelujah.
Bare Naked Survivor parodies the popular reality television series Survivor and puts six beautiful women with fake names and professions on a fictional island called Butta Cheeka. On Butta Cheeka, the girls compete with each other on the island and get into various goofy situations with each other, as well as (for almost no apparent reason) flash their breasts repeatedly. As someone who does not enjoy parody-style movies and has never seen Survivor, I cannot say I was excited to sit down with this movie. Not surprisingly, I found I had little interest in it. In the end, I feel Bare Naked Survivor has little to offer in the entertainment realm. The jokes aren't funny and the performances are less than acceptable.