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Bikini Destination

Magnolia Home Entertainment // Unrated // May 30, 2006
List Price: $26.98 [Buy now and save at Amazon]

Review by Todd Douglass Jr. | posted February 3, 2007 | E-mail the Author
The Show:

With the advent of high definition technology we can all marvel at the magnificence of digital clarity. Films have never looked so crisp and vibrant before making this the age of the movie buff. Despite all of this hoopla there is something missing though. Many of you have probably wondered to yourself where is that elusive genre? When can I see what I really want to see? If you are one of these souls that have been searching for a glimpse at high definition boobies your prayers may have just been answered.

Bikini Destinations is the latest release from HDNet where television viewers go to watch high definition programming. Buzz around the internet has surfaced about the fact that this cheesecake show is about the closest to high definition adult entertainment as you can get. Well, this Blu-ray disc takes the Sports Illustrated-like bikini footage and presents it in a way that fans of the series haven't seen before; unrated.

Yes, this release of Bikini Destinations is indeed without rating and to answer all of your questions, yes the destination of many of these bikinis is the floor. Nudity runs rampant throughout this disc and though it's by no means the definition of hardcore pornography there are quite a few softcore moments that will make the blood in your veins boil. These women are beautiful to be sure and with three Bikini Destination programs available on the disc there is quite a bit to make fans happy.

The first of this Triple Fantasy is "Fantasy Part 1". A brief tacky narrative sets up the show with talk about searching for "natural beauty" and nice destinations too. The first girl that is introduced to us is Cassandra Delia (Cassandra Lynn – Miss Feb 2006, Playboy) who lounges around a pool while stripping and talking about turning guy's heads out in public. Up next is Denise Tillery who struts around topless through a house in Beverly Hills. She has a more personal commentary than Cassandra had and more outfits too.

Claudia Bela is a Latino beauty who strikes a few poses by the ocean and unlike the previous two girls loses the bikini bottom too. The rest of the girls in this first part follow suit in similar fashion with more posing and talking about themselves. Vanity runs rampant and nothing that gets discussed is particularly interesting. In case you are a fan of the program the rest of the girls here are Carrie Spencer, Coco Johnson, Jessica Barton, Vera Bosco, Tabitha Taylor, and Brooke Adams.

"Fantasy Part 2" leaves the tropical destinations and heads for the desert with a stark, harsh environment and sweaty girls. This particular one was a little better than the first installment but it still felt boring and lacking in some way. First up is Rayna Marie from L.A. she starts out by sitting on a chair and moves on to parking her tush on cracked earth. I guess it's also worth mentioning that she goes completely nude for most of her time on camera. So much for having a bikini! Up next is Barbie Murdock who spends all of her time next to a plane and for that matter so does Erika Johnson from Sweden.

One thing that will probably make a lot of you horn dogs really want to grab this release is Aria Giovanni. She is another cutie from L.A. who has one of the best shoots on this release that takes place during a vivid desert sunset. Filling in the rest of the feature are Jasmin Jordan, Kayla Page, Nissa Hall (dressed like a commando with guns – nice touch), and Christine Nguyen.

The final feature included on this release is "Lights, Camera, Girls". If you need me to break down that particular title for you then you have no hope. This particular inclusion is much different than the "Fantasy" parts. There is no narration or commentary by the girls. Instead "Lights, Camera, Girls" is just a montage of video footage set to some cheesy music. Random clips from models in (and out of) different outfits are all that you'll find here. Victoria, Rayna, Heather, Destiny, Ann, Samantha, Kim, Star, Ida, Colleen, Jamie, and Jeannie are the girls that make friendly with the camera. The result is boring and less personal than the other features but if you're just looking to ogle beautiful video footage of women anyways, this provides plenty of it I suppose.

Whether or not you'll appreciate Bikini Destinations: Triple Fantasy is really up to your own personal tastes and what you're looking for. If you're coming to the release then you obviously want to check out naked chicks in high definition. In that regard I suppose that's all that this Blu-ray disc gives you. Unfortunately the resulting satisfaction isn't universal and to be honest I found myself quite bored while watching the feature. Sure the girls were hot and all but with dry commentary and awful music I didn't exactly enjoy it. Still, this is the only way (at this point) that you're going to see this kind of material in high definition.

The Disc:

Video:

Bikini Destinations: Triple Fantasy is presented on Blu-ray with a 16x9 anamorphic widescreen aspect ratio. The disc receives a 1080i High Definition output and features great quality but it certainly isn't as crisp as it would have been if it were 1080p. Even so, this disc offers some fantastic video quality and many breathtaking scenes.

While the focus is on the girls I found the environments themselves to be equally beautiful. The camera captures just about every detail with little being lost in the transfer. There are a few moments where the picture is softer than it should be and even fewer where the contrast is off but for the most part this is a solid looking picture. Objectifying women has never looked so good.

Audio:

While the provided video output is very pleasing to the eyes, the same can't be said for the audio. All we get on this release is a selection between decent sounding 2.0 tracks for Dolby Digital and DTS. That's it. No 5.1. Add to that the fact that the soundtrack and commentary is downright underwhelming and you have a release that bores as much as it entices. I guess you're not coming to a disc like Bikini Destinations looking to get your surround system worked up but some more effort would have been appreciated.

Extras:

The disc's case lists High Definition Trailers as bonus content but there is nothing to be found from the menu apart from playing the feature, selecting a scene, or fiddling with the audio set up. Lame!

Final Thoughts:

Recently we've heard the announcements that porn is going to be coming to high definition soon but in the meantime your only real alternative is Bikini Destinations: Triple Fantasy. I personally wasn't enthralled with the feature even though it offered beautiful cinematography and lovely ladies. A few of the models stood out above the rest (Cassandra, Aria, and Jeannie) but as a whole the disc was downright boring the entire way through.

There's not a lot of replay value, the audio is disappointing to say the least, and no extra features are included. The only technical feather in its cap involves the video quality and even that isn't "perfect" by any means. If you're looking for high definition cheesecake this is your best bet for now but the only recommendation I can give for it is a rental.


Check out more of my reviews here. Head on over to my anime blog as well for random musings and reviews of anime, manga, and stuff from Japan!

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