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THE RAGE: CARRIE 2 (1999, 105 minutes): In search of female-friendly horror in the pop-slasher era, Hollywood re-taps the telekinesis well with a return to the community where Carrie deep-fried the prom sum 20 years ago. Rachel Lang is an edgy, self-aware gRRRl (aptly portrayed by Emily Bergl) who has been passed around foster homes after her religious zealot momma got carted off to the funny farm for painting the living room red while ranting about little Rachel being possessed. Of course, life doesn't get any easier in high school. Her best gal pal (Mena Suvari) leaps off a building after giving up her virginity to Zachery Ty Bryan of TV's "Home Improvement." Her dog gets run over. Football thugs threaten to do TERRIBLE things to her if she reveals the truth about her friend's death. But, wait, LOVE is in the air in the form of a dashing gridiron star (Jason London) who thinks Shirley Manson of Garbage rules just as much as she does. Peppered throughout the winding plot are various displays of psychic destruction that draw the attention of the school counselor -- the original film's Sue Snell (Amy Irving) -- who worries Rachel may be another Carrie White itching to go postal. But Rachel resents Snell's meddling as it only takes valuable time away from her budding romance. It's this dalliance that ultimately blinds her to a cruel deception and unintentionally repeats history in disastrous detail.
Notables: No breasts. 31 corpses. Deflowering. Puking. Backseat diddling. Pig truck pancakes stuffed Basset hound. Gratuitous spoon rattling. Egging. Bitch slapping. Implied lesbianism. Speared testicles. Possessed tattoo.
Quotables: Sex Pistols fan parrots, "Love is 15 seconds of squishing noises." Tool Man Tim Taylor's boy is a selfish little bugger, "If all this gets out -- sex and suicide!? Come on, man! Catholic schools frown on that s@#%! If I don't get into a good school, my dad's gonna kill me!" Rachel on her grim persona, "Sometimes I really wish I could just be one of the shiny happy people." And on Carrie lore, "Supposedly she set the fire as some type of revenge/suicide thing. Elvis was her date and they escaped in a UFO." One of Rachel's extra-crispy victims cries, "SOMEBODY PUT ME OUT!!!"
Time codes: First sign of supernatural power (4:12). Freeze-frame for the lurid Rules of The Game (8:15). Ms. Suvari swan dives from the roof into a car windshield below (12:45). First of about five gratuitous flashbacks to the original film (22:22). Scream telephone spoof (41:05). The origins of Carrie White and Rachel Lang (54:42). The "They're All Gonna Laugh At You" dance mix (1:25:40).
G. Noel Gross is a Dallas graphic designer and avowed Drive-In Mutant who specializes in scribbling B-movie reviews. Noel is inspired by Joe Bob Briggs and his gospel of blood, breasts and beasts.