Attention all 14-year-old males: The Dukes of Hazzard: The Beginning - Unrated is your Citizen Kane. It gives the average high school freshman every single ingredient deemed necessary for a killer DVD: naked girls, plenty of drinking, sniggering jokes about naked girls and drinking, stuff blowing up, a souped-up muscle car, and lots more naked girls. Like Li'l Abner on speed, The Dukes of Hazzard: The Beginning - Unrated features sexed-up Hee-Haw Honeys and horny good ol' boy studs in an energetically raunchy, but ultimately innocent sex-and-speed Southern farce that goes down as easy as a Mason jar full of two-day-old shine.

I know straight-to-DVD features have been getting a lot of attention in the trades lately, mostly because they've proved to be just as profitable as their immediate predecessor: the straight-to-video feature. Those bastard cousins of the big-screen feature films didn't get any more respect from mainstream critics than this new generation does, but I wonder if these profitable declasse divisions of the major studios may not be fertile proving grounds for unpretentious, bawdy, fun entertainment - just as drive-in fare, and later made-for-TV movies (such as Spielberg's Duel) proved to be. Certainly The Dukes of Hazzard: The Beginning - Unrated is just such a surprise. It's in no way what you would call a masterpiece, and I don't think anybody is going to write a thesis on it. But it's a speedy, wild ride, with some excellent tech credits, some good performances, more than its fair share of sharp, funny lines, and an admirably unashamed attitude. The Dukes of Hazzard: The Beginning - Unrated sets its mark low - very low - and it hits the bull's-eye, giving its viewers exactly what they want. Too bad more mainstream feature films aren't handled this efficiently and competently.

Now when the original The Dukes of Hazzard aired on CBS way back when I was in high school, it was an admittedly goofy, Looney Tunes-tempoed farce that no one took seriously at all - and which cleaned up in the Nielsen ratings. It was totally innocent (no one was killed, the shine running was kept to a minimum, and Daisy never got nekkid - dang it!) and suitable for family viewing - young kids particularly loved its cartoonish style. And when the recent feature film came out, there were a lot of unhappy alumni of the series that said the big screen version was an assault on the legacy of the family-friendly TV show. The Dukes of Hazzard: The Beginning - Unrated certainly isn't network TV friendly (or at least under 1980 network TV standards), but it really is essentially harmless stuff. Actually, it's not unlike the TV show; the same sense of fun and farce permeates it. The only difference is that The Dukes of Hazzard: The Beginning - Unrated ups the ante and provides a few of the relatively chaste fantasies you prayed might show up on the TV show - but sadly, never did.

The Dukes of Hazzard: The Beginning - Unrated reboots the mythology of the TV series, and starts with the ne'er-do-well cousins' first meeting. Bo Duke (Jonathan Bennett), the not-so-bright blonde one, and Luke Duke (Randy Wayne), the brunette who likes to blow things up, are sent by their parents to Hazzard County to live with their Uncle Jesse Duke (Willie Nelson) in the hopes that a summer of hard farm work will straighten out the rowdy youths. Uncle Jessie, a barely settled down moonshiner, still keeps a still hidden on his farm, and runs his hooch to keep paying the bills - which are quickly outstripping his slow-downed, one-man operation. Living with Uncle Jessie is Daisy Duke (April Scott), a sweet, virginal Bible-studying beauty hidden behind glasses and frumpy clothes; she's also a cousin of Bo and Luke.

Conflict enters this happy extended family when Boss Hogg (Christopher McDonald), the power behind Hazzard County, demands that Uncle Jessie start kicking back 25% of his shine profits, in exchange for expanding Uncle Jessie's operation into other counties. Uncle Jessie, not wanting any trouble with the Revenuers, refuses Boss Hogg's offer, whereupon Boss Hogg threatens to foreclose on Uncle Jessie's farm. Not wanting to lose the Duke family farm, Uncle Jessie reluctantly allows Bo and Luke to help him out by running his shine. But first, the boys have to find a fast car. A chance trip to a popular swimming hole (which just happens to have two beautiful blonde nude sunbathers there), finds a submerged '69 Dodge Charger at the bottom of the hole. With the help of high school senior (fourth year at that level and counting) and master shop student Cooter (Joel David Moore), the rusted out mess is transformed into the sweetest, meanest shine runner in the county. With a bright orange paint job and a Confederate flag on top, the car is christened the General Lee, and the boys are in business.

Daisy wishes to help out, too, and promptly transforms herself into the hottest babe in Hazzard County to work at the Boar's Nest, Boss Hogg's bar-turned-ice cream parlor. But the manager Hughie (Todd Grinnell), who Daisy loves, is in league with Boss Hogg, and with the help of seriously screwed-up Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane (Harland Williams), Boss Hogg is bearing down on the Dukes something fierce. With a potential helper in Boss Hogg's oversexed wife Lulu (Sherilyn Fenn), the Duke boys have precious little time to get Uncle Jessie out of hot water.

I was quite surprised at how much I enjoyed The Dukes of Hazzard: The Beginning - Unrated. There's an unabashed, ballsy celebration of the crude and low here that's balanced by a light, goofy innocence that I found infectious. Director Robert Berlinger, a TV sitcom veteran who deserves to break out to bigger things after The Dukes of Hazzard: The Beginning - Unrated, and first time scripter Shane Morris have the tone of high-spirited adolescent hijinks locked down tight. There's quite a few very sharp, funny lines in the script, as well as many fun moments that deliver earthy, raucous jolts, expertly balanced to stay on this side of innocence. There's a moment where Bo and Luke decide to ride an ATV through the local high school (don't ask why), and the narrator stops the action to remind everyone that this scene will show you the viewer why we live in the greatest country in the world, whereupon the Dukes bust through the girl's locker room where a bevy of smoking hot naked girls run around screaming. It's a juvenile moment to be sure, but it's so blatant and open an opportunity to titillate the audience, that you can't help but admire it. It helps, too, that The Dukes of Hazzard: The Beginning - Unrated looks so good, with crystal-clear, bright, sunny cinematography by Roy Wagner, fun music cues by John DeFaria, and some clever directorial touches by Berlinger.

The acting in The Dukes of Hazzard: The Beginning - Unrated is above par for these kind of outings, as well. Bennett and Wayne do nicely with their jacked-up Southern horn dog characters, with Bennett especially funny in the physical comedy scenes. Scott pulls off the tricky work of making Daisy Duke hot as hell, and at the same time virginally sweet, while filling out her "Daisy Dukes" memorably -- and there's nothing wrong with that. Moore is great as the squirrely Cooter, and Willie Nelson is perfectly cast as the tolerant old moonshiner Uncle Jessie. Harland Williams is, as always, quite hilarious as the famed Rosco P. Coltrane (you can tell he was ad-libbing off the map), and Christopher McDonald, one of my favorite character actors, sinks his teeth into the Boss Hogg role with abandon, and brings a nice, crazy glint to his eyes when he's spouting off about burying the Dukes. And a special mention must go out to the Handy girls, Brooke (Jennifer Hill) and Ali (Trishelle Cannatella), who hook up with the clueless Duke boys. Cannatella in particular is um...outstanding. Things get a bit thick during the end of the middle section when the director and screenwriter lose faith in their exploitation-only methodology, and let the mechanics of the slight plot play out, with the film not quite recovering it's anything-for-a-laugh momentum. But there are enough pleasures throughout The Dukes of Hazzard: The Beginning - Unrated to keep a smile on your face when the credits roll, with some hilarious outtakes, particularly by Harland Williams, for added measure; it looks like everybody had as good a time making The Dukes of Hazzard: The Beginning - Unrated, as we do watching it.

The DVD:

The Video:
The matted, widescreen 1.78:1 video image for The Dukes of Hazzard: The Beginning - Unrated is sparklingly clear, with no artifacting or pixilation.

The Audio:
The Dolby Digital English Surround 5.1 mix is appropriately loud and insistent -- the General Lee never sounded better. French and English subtitles are available, as well as close-captioning.

The Extras:
There are several extra featurettes included in The Dukes of Hazzard: The Beginning - Unrated, but they're hardly "too hot to handle" as the DVD box states. The New Dukes is a seven minute look at Bennett and Wayne in their new roles as the Duke boys. Daisy's Dukes is a three and a half minute look at Scott's wardrobe, concentrating on her celebrated short shorts. Birth of the General Lee is a seven and a half minute exploration of the film production's restoration of a rusted out '69 Dodge Charger. The two and a half minute A Moment with Uncle Jesse looks at Willie Nelson's return as Uncle Jessie. Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane spends four and half minutes looking at Harland Williams' behind-the-scenes craziness. Dainty Hogg is a two and a half minute look at the special effects involved with one of the film's funnier moments, and Dukes in Drag spends four minutes looking at how Bennett and Wayne are made up as women for the film. The Music of Hazzard, featuring Cowboy Troy & John Anderson's Duke Boys Swingin' is a fun music video, and there's also a trailer included for the film.

Final Thoughts:
A delightful surprise of horny redneck hijinks, gorgeous naked girls, smart, funny jokes, and an unashamed, earthy willingness to please distinguishes The Dukes of Hazzard: The Beginning - Unrated as a worthwhile return to that fictional Southern Hazzard County. Good natured, unpretentious, and essentially innocent fun, The Dukes of Hazzard: The Beginning - Unrated walks a careful line between energetic exploitation and some clever plotting and direction, while never crossing over into offensive sleaze. Aiming low, The Dukes of Hazzard: The Beginning - Unrated hits high. I highly recommend The Dukes of Hazzard: The Beginning - Unrated.