"Gotta love me!"
Baby Sinclair

"Um...no I don't."
Paul Mavis

I remember one of my older kids watching ABC's Dinosaurs back during its original run in the early nineties, but it certainly wasn't something I tuned into regularly. One or two episodes of this inane, smarmy, self-satisfied Stone Age puppet sitcom was enough for me; I checked out and never came back. Watching Dinosaurs: The Complete Third and Fourth Seasons, it's apparent that this expensive production didn't improve with age. Not only is the humor forced and crude, but the so-called irony of its political and social commentary is cheap and easy -- and decidedly one-sided. As well, Dinosaurs: The Complete Third and Fourth Seasons has a bald-faced contempt for its audience that I found exceedingly unpleasant.

Borrowing its basic premise from an untold number of family sitcoms, and directly from a half-dozen other better sitcoms, including The Honeymooners, The Flintstones, and The Simpsons, Dinosaurs tells the story of a typically domesticated dinosaur family in 60,000,000 B.C. Pangaea. Megalosaurus Earl Sinclair (Stuart Pankin) is a "tree-pusher" for Wesayso Development Corporation ("Wesayso" is about as good as the humor gets in Dinosaurs), an inherently evil corporation (anything business-related in Dinosaurs is evil) that's raping the land to put down tract homes. His Allosaurus wife Fran (Jessica Walter) is a stay-at-home dinosaur who watched over their extended family. Members include rebellious teenaged son Robbie (Jason Willinger); materialistic daughter Charlene (Sally Struthers); wise-ass, exceedingly annoying Baby (Kevin Clash), and Fran's mother, Ethyl (Florence Stanley), who, true to the cutting-edge humor of Dinosaurs, hates her son-in-law Earl. A frequent co-star is Earl's terrifying boss, Triceratops B. P. Richfield (Sherman Hemsley, in an admittedly funny vocal performance), as well as Earl's best friend, Tyrannosaurus Roy Hess (Sam McMurray).

And since the premise is borrowed from countless other sitcoms, so are the individual stories. All-too familiar problems between spouses, problems at work, and problems with the children dominate the conflicts in the Dinosaurs episodes. However, the producers and writers of Dinosaurs aren't content to just tell amusing stories about a typical American family, with the added twist of that family being dinosaurs. As some of the creators of Dinosaurs say on a commentary track available on this DVD disc set, each episode of Dinosaurs had to end with an uplifting "message." So inbetween the crass, toilet humor and the obvious "parallel jokes" between modern humans and these Stone Age dinosaurs, we get little hectoring jabs (or sometimes entire blathering lectures) peppered throughout each episode, with the purpose, one would assume, of letting the producers be able to say that Dinosaurs is "worthwhile" TV entertainment.

The second and third episodes of Season Three of Dinosaurs provide a good example of the mindset behind the production. Episode 2, Baby Talk is especially funny (for all the wrong reasons) considering the recent events this week with a certain radio talk show host. Evidently, Baby likes to say naughty words he hears on television, so of course, his parents, who want TV to be their babysitter, eventually lead a protest against the networks, getting the word banned. But other viewers step up, and start to demand other words be banned, and soon, the spineless executives are censoring everything. Naturally, everything is worked out in the end, and "the word" is put back on TV. The third episode, Network Genius is even more obnoxious, with Earl becoming a successful network programmer by catering to the lowest common denominator in the audience. But when the viewers start to get stupid, a backlash forms. Echoing this is Earl's own family, who become incredibly smart when they stop watching TV.

What I find irritating about both of these episodes - and indeed, the entire series - is the self-satisfied, frequently wrong-headed smugness that permeates these supposedly "ironic" storylines. Firs of all, there's hardly anything new or original in attacking TV as an institution, and questioning its motives versus its commercial considerations. That's as old as the hills, and hardly cutting edge in 1992. But if you're going to go ahead and criticize TV, specifically general entertainment TV, you had better have a show that doesn't fall into the very genre you're criticizing. Dinosaurs would like to think it's hip and above it all when it comes to sniping about "stupid" TV, but this is a show that premiered this third season with an episode devoted to a wise-ass baby trying to go to the bathroom. Don't get me wrong; I enjoy toilet humor; Jeff Daniels' notorious bathroom scene in Dumb and Dumber is a particular favorite. But there was nothing "edifying" about that scene, nor is there any inherent worth in that Dinosaurs episode. So for Dinosaurs to set itself above the hoi poli is rather amusing, considering the perfectly ordinary - and quite frankly, awful - nature of the show.

As well, I don't need a lecture from TV, particularly a juvenile entertainment series, when I sit down to watch something whose main purpose it to kill 30 minutes. If I want a lecture, I'll turn on PBS. But when the channel (or DVD remote) goes to Dinosaurs, I don't need ham-handed diatribes against the evils of society. Particularly humorous (in the wrong way) is Dinosaurs' frequent assault on its own medium, and the people - you, the viewer - who make it possible for Dinosaurs to be on the air in the first place. There's a real contempt for the viewer in the average Dinosaurs episode; the two I mentioned are just two of the more overt assaults on the audience, because they deal directly with TV. The vast majority of audiences out there - that means you and me - are considered dolts by Dinosaurs, who would rather watch a test pattern than something educational. And when Dinosaurs tries to fulfill its main purpose to entertain the viewers, the makers of the series give it right back in the teeth of the viewers who do show up. According to Dinosaurs, you're either an idiot who couldn't possibly get the subtext of an average Dinosaurs episode, or you're stupid and deserve to be mocked for tuning in. Dinosaurs's sneering contempt for its audience, and its unreserved disdain for those its lampoons (the ones who don't watch) is really quite breathtaking.

Drifting even further into Cuckoo Land, Dinosaurs advocates all sorts of questionable "Hollywood" attitudes (interpret that any way you want) that boggle the mind. Forget the advocacy of "re-educating" viewers away from stupid shows (Hey, Joe Stalin, how ya doin'?), how about the show's assaults on the just-then emerging evils of a rapidly growing P.C. America? In License to Parent and Charlene's Flat World, the storm trooper enforcers of "politically correct speech" (again, a word invented by old Uncle Joe) wear police uniforms and work under the aegis of the government -- which, of course, is hysterical when you again consider the events of this past week or so. It certainly wasn't the government that took down a certain radio talk show host this past week; it was his liberal friends. There's nothing more amusing than hearing the lectures of Hollywood producers and writers against the evils of authority, government, and business - especially when those lectures emanate from the pens of well-heeled Hollywood writers who toil for a multi-million dollar TV show engineered with one sole purpose in mind: to gather ratings, and thus advertising dollars for the show's multi, multi-billion dollar parent corporation. Enjoy cashing your big, fat checks, guys; your hypocritical messages have come through loud and clear!

If you think I'm being too hard on the show, well...I am. If an entertainment show aimed primarily at kids wants to sneak in a political agenda, then that agenda - and its hypocrisies - are fair game for review. And if you watch the bonus featurettes on this set, you'll see the creators of the show state clearly this was the purpose of Dinosaurs: to impart messages from a political agenda. But disingenuously, those same creators said that Dinosaurs attacked all sides of the political spectrum: left, right, and center. Hardly. Just watch the show and see who the buffoons are (here's a hint: conservative Earl) and who the heroes are (anybody liberal on the show). Watch the show and see what tenants are lampooned (patriotism, work ethic, consumerism, religion) and which issues are lauded. And if you think I'm biased (think again; you may be surprised at my own personal politics), all you have to do is listen to creator Bob Young's statement on the bonus featurette: "The writing room at Dinosaurs was always a bunch of lefty writers." Case closed.

But just for the sake of argument, lets leave all of that aside, and isolate just the "entertainment" value of Dinosaurs. True, the puppetry of Jim Henson's production company is impressive here. It's obvious a lot of effort went into creating these characters. It's just a shame that all that time and effort and money (sorry, Uncle Joe) went into a thoroughly pedestrian effort that highlights easy sitcom targets like kids pooping and "troubles with the mean boss." Now you know that kids will probably enjoy just watching these dinos stumble around their surprisingly cheap-looking surroundings (for all that money, Dinosaurs looks about as good as an average episode of Kroffts' The Land of the Lost). My younger kids watched and laughed - for about two episodes, and then even they became bored. Politics aside, it's just not that funny of a show. The thoroughly annoying Baby character (god, that horrible, screechingly unfunny voice), I would suppose, is the one character that everyone talked about (although I question how many actually did watch this; Dinosaurs never even cracked the Nielsen Top Thirty during its run). But if kids did watch Dinosaurs as part of ABC "TGIF" line-up, how long did they find it funny to hear Baby do its lame shtick? Because that's about all Dinosaurs has going for it -- and that's faint praise indeed.

Here are the , one-half hour episodes of the four-disc box set, Dinosaurs: The Complete Third and Fourth Seasons:

DISC ONE:

Nature Calls
Earl is left with the responsibility of potty training Baby.

Baby Talk
Baby says a naughty word he learned off television, and soon a riot of censorship ensues.

Network Genius
Earl becomes a network TV programmer, and soon everybody out there in TVLand is pretty stupid.

The Discovery
Earl hits a long shot on the golf course, and "discovers" a new land. Unfortunately, it already belongs to the cavemen.

Little Boy Boo
Robbie babysits Baby, and scares the daylights out him with a spooky story.

Germ Warfare
Earl gives Baby his pacifier back -- covered with dirt. And soon, the Baby is very sick.

Hungry for Love
Robbie falls in love -- with Earl's boss' daughter!

License to Parent
Fran and Earl are in trouble when they fail to meet the standards of a new Parenting Law.

Charlene's Flat World
Charlene is challenged to come up with a new idea in science class, and she puts forth the heresy that the world is round.

DISC TWO:

Wilderness Weekend
Robbie reluctantly goes along with Earl on a camping trip, and discovers the true hunter inside himself.

The Son Also Rises
Robbie chafes under Earl's household rules and chores, and decides to enter the working world -- where he learns just how though it is out there.

Getting to Know You
Earl botches Charlene's surprise birthday party, and she runs away from home.

Green Card
Earl and Roy lose their jobs due to the recession, and times get tough around the house.

Out of the Frying Pan
The Baby hits "Not the Mama" with a frying pan, and suddenly becomes part of a major advertising plan for a new, space age frying pan.

Steroids to Heaven
To impress his girlfriend, Robbie starts to take steroids -- and quickly alienates everyone around him.

Honey, I Miss the Kids
Earl has to take care of the family when Fran decides she's had enough of that job -- and trades it in for one outside the home.

Swamp Music
Earl forbids Robbie to accompany Spike over to The Swamp Shack -- but of course, Robbie goes anyway, with memorable results.

Dirty Dancin'
Robbie's nocturnal dreams of mating dances lets him know he's growing up, but Spike's plan to accelerate the process may prove disastrous.

If You Were a Tree
Ethyl reads Baby a bedtime story that describes Earl getting hit by lightening -- and turning into a tree!

DISC THREE:

We Are Not Alone
Robbie convinces Earl to get "green" and participate in a "clean up the environment" day.

Charlene and Her Amazing Humans
No one cares about Charlene's life, until a talent show at school -- and Charlene's human children friends -- get's their attention.

The Clip Show II
Clips from the show are highlighted.

Monster Under the Bed
Earl must find the Baby before he's eaten by the monster that kidnapped him.

Earl Don't Be a Hero
Earl gets a promotion, but that doesn't cut any slack with Baby, who admires Captain Action Hero.

The Greatest Story Ever Sold
When the Baby asks Earl why dinosaurs are on the planet, Earl has a spiritual awakening -- with disasterous results.

Driving Miss Ethyl
Earl's weekend of TV viewing is shattered when he must drive Ethyl to her 60th High School reunion.

Earl's Big Jackpot
Earl's injured on the job, and he sues the company for millions.

Terrible Twos
Baby reaches the "terrible twos," and all hell breaks loose at the house.

Changing Nature
Earl tries to help nature a little bit -- by destroying it with poisonous pesticides.

DISC FOUR:

Into the Woods
Fran and Earl decide that Baby needs to spend some alone time in the woods, to toughen him up.

Scent of a Reptile
Charlene's scent gland comes in, and here come the boys.

Working Girl
Charlene needs money for her summer survival camp, but Earl says no. So she gets a part-time job -- with Earl!

Variations on a Theme Park
To avoid utter exhaustion, Earl goes on a family vacation to a theme park.

Life in the Faust Lane
Earl sells his soul for a prized mug, and learns that the "good life" on TV may not come in buying things.

Earl and Pearl
Earl's singing sister Pearl comes to visit the family, with comedic results.

Georgie Must Die
Earl destroys Baby's favorite Georgie tape, and soon he's donning the suit of Baby's favorite TV star.

The DVD:

The Video:
The full frame video image for Dinosaurs: The Complete Third and Fourth Seasons looks okay, with some occasionally soft, fuzzy spots (original materials), but overall, not too bad. There were no DVD transfer issues.

The Audio:
The Dolby Digital English stereo mix is entirely adequate for the job. English subtitles are available.

The Extras:
On disc one, there's a commentary track with Brian Henson, Kirk Thatcher, Kevin Clash, and Bill Barretta on the first episode, Nature Calls. On disc four, there's a commentary track with Brian Henson, Kirk Thatcher, Kevin Clash, and Bill Barretta, discussing Into the Woods. Also on disc four, there's a six minute featurette, I'm the Baby, Gotta Love Me!, which discusses the popularity of this breakout character. Creatures With a Cause: The Issues of Dinosaurs, a nine minute look at the hypocrisies -- I mean, the political issues -- of the show.

Final Thoughts:
Hey, if Dinosaurs was a blatantly leftist piece of propaganda masquerading as a kiddie show (which the creators of the show plainly admit on the box set's bonus featurette), that's cool. Everybody's got a point of view, and more power to you. But how much funnier would Dinosaurs have been had the "lefty writers," as creator Bob Young described them, had the courage to look at all the ridiculous sides of our political and cultural arenas, instead of focusing their hypocritical outrage at just the stereotypical right wing? But hey, if that had happened, Hollywood may have imploded from the shock. Skipping the one-sided politics of the show, Dinosaurs just isn't funny enough to support the pretty amazing puppetry that went into its production. Lame family sitcom with a ladling of political polemics does not a funny show make. "Gotta love me?" No -- gonna skip ya.