This title was featured in
Andy Sidaris Collection

PICASSO TRIGGER (1988, 100 minutes): In Paris, the flamboyant crime lord Picasso Trigger (John Aprea) is gunned down in a bloody hit outside an art museum. In Dallas, agent L.G. Abilene (Guich Koock) watches his faithful yard man get blow'd to smithereens by a car bomb meant for him. In Las Vegas, a pair of gumshoes are lured into the desert and turned into extra-crispy Pop Tarts in a fiendish helicopter rocket attack. While in Hawaii, super-sexy spy gals Donna and Tarya (Dona Speir and Hope Marie Carlton) narrowly avoid a radio-controlled model Japanese Zero loaded with explosives. But not before Donna took time out for a quick shower. That's all in the first reel!!! Then it's up to Travis Abilene (Steve Bond) and his crack team of beautiful and reasonably deadly G-folks to sort out the whole mess. This noble endeavour is complicated when he must also juggle between the ample attentions of Donna and a two-stepping interloper with dubious motives (Roberta Vasquez). Among the flick's better moments is during the final battle royale when Donna sends Tarya to attack the house, while opting herself to take the extra-long way by swimming out into the surf just so she can make a Ursula Andress-esque entrance onto the beach. CineSchlockers will also remember Ms. Carlton as a dingy bimbette subject to the wrath of a drill-wielding homicidal maniac in Slumber Party Massacre III. As Playboy's Miss July 1985 she listed "60 Minutes" among her favorite TV shows.

Notables: 10 breasts. 22 corpses. Boot scooting. Hitchhiking. Eye gouging. Kung fu fighting. Involuntary freefall. Exploding boomerang.

Quotables: International crook has it in for Donna, "We'll put a stop to that squealin' bitch that testified against my brother!" Cowgirl stripper (Kym Malin) is ready for action, "As long as somebody's selling tickets, my tail is shakin'."

Time codes: First look at the girls -- and it's a good one (19:00). Spies make a late-night Dallas Connection of their own (36:30). Sidaris steps in front of the camera (53:24). Greenhorn gals prefer cleanliness over godliness (1:05:24).