To say "Dorm Of The Dead" has a plot is reaching. As best as I can see, the story concerns a bitchy girl named Clare who wants to get even with two college girls who mocked her in class (Sarah and Allison). When Clare stumbles upon zombie blood, she decides to take it and exact her revenge on Sarah by spilling zombie blood ino her mouth while she is sleeping. When Sarah awakes the next morning, she begins to crave human flesh. Zombie chaos ensues.

As "Dorm Of The Dead" is directed by Donald Farmer (whose resume includes such classics as "Red Lips" and "An Erotic Vampire In Paris"), one should obviously not expect much or anything at all...which is what we get. The fact that "Dorm Of The Dead" has been released anywhere is astonishing. The "film" is essentially a no-budget soft core zombie music video that resembles a high school video project directed by someone who has no idea of how to make a movie. If you don't believe me, let me give you a rundown of a few blatantly obvious faults:

1. The film has no continuity whatsoever. For instance, a discussion between a student and teacher are clearly not in the same room.

2. There are several endless shots of characters walking upstairs, through a store and through a carnival- all of which serve no purpose other than to fill time.

3. Worst. Makeup. Ever.

4. There is no characterization at all. Most of the time, the film contains random shots of people. My guess is they filmed everyone and anyone they ran into while shooting.

I could go on and on, but for the sake of this reviewer's (and the reader's) mental health I'd rather not drum up memories of "Dorm Of The Dead."

Note: In the end credits, it is revealed a sequel is in the works. That alone is scarier than any second of this "horror film."

The DVD

Video:
The fullscreen picture is so-so. Interior shots look decent enough, but the poorly lit and fuzzy exterior shots leave something to be desired.

Sound: The "Dolby System" audio track downright reeks of a rotting zombie. From what I can gather, the sound was not recorded separately. Every sound in the finished film was captured from a digital video camera (aside from the mind numbingly awful techno/hard rock songs playing throughout).

Extras: * Trailers for "Insane In The Brain," "Naked Beneath The Water," "The Lawless," and "Dorm Of The Dead."

* A nearly 15 minute behind-the-scenes documentary which basically sees actress Tiffany Shepis picking up a camera and shooting rehearsels/footage, while actors/actresses/crew members goof around. Considering Tiffany talks about how acting in this film was a way to pay the bills, it just goes to show how people in this film could care less about what they are doing.

Final Thoughts:
"Dorm Of The Dead" is horror at its worst. Do yourself a favor and rent or buy any George A. Romero zombie film instead.

Film and television enthusiast Nick Lyons recently had his first book published titled "Attack of the Sci-Fi Trivia." It is available on Amazon.com.