THE FILM

"Aliens in the Attic" is a Blu-ray babysitting tool that was somehow granted a theatrical release this past summer. It's not all that loathsome, just remarkably unremarkable; a lively war of the worlds diversion with plenty of spunky special effects, gratuitous slapstick, and Ashley Tisdale parading around in a bikini for all the dads out there. It's something bright and flashy to rest eyes upon for 85 minutes, but I can't imagine anyone walking away from this thing proclaiming it to be a 2009 highlight.

Reluctant to join a weekend vacation with his family, Tom Pearson (Carter Jenkins) is stuck with concerned parents (including Kevin Nealon), a bratty older sister (Ashley Tisdale) and her conniving boyfriend Ricky (Robert Hoffman), a weary grandmother (Doris Roberts), and members of his extended family (including Andy Richter and Austin Robert Butler). There's also another problem: aliens have crashed into the attic and they're looking to take over the human race. While the parents don't seem to notice anything wrong, Tom and the other kids team up to defend their home from the tiny green menace, while one alien, Sparks (voiced by Josh Peck), befriends the gang, hoping to convince his fellow creatures that peace is an option.

"Aliens in the Attic" feels like an invasion comedy left over from Spielberg's multiplex reign of the 1980s. It's a plastic, hollow creation that shuns any sort of dramatic vigor, preferring to offer up some frantic antics to please children. There's nothing wrong with playing directly to the target audience, but filmmaker John Schultz ("The Honeymooners," "Like Mike") doesn't pass along a needed sense of merriment in his direction, only paycheck obligation. His dead-eyed work is felt throughout the film, straining to make the cutesy screenplay by Mark Burton and Adam F. Goldberg come alive with a few lobs of wit and some parents-only humor (a rotary phone gag will surely elicit laughs).

"Aliens" is primarily here to make noise and stay frenzied enough to keep little minds invested. Schultz stages big waves of slapstick, most framed around the idea that the aliens can manipulate Ricky with an intergalactic gaming controller, which promptly falls into pre-teen human hands. "Aliens" gets a lot of mileage out of the gag, and bless his heart, Hoffman commits entirely to the torture, slamming his body around like the runaway RC car his character has become. The video game textures pop up frequently throughout the film, including a mid-movie "Street Fighter" battle between Granny Pearson and Ricky, and a brief bit of business that has a Nintendo DS able to detect the aliens' language.

THE BLU-RAY

Visual:

The AVC encoded image (1.85:1 aspect ratio) on the "Aliens" Blu-ray presents the movie with tremendous clarity, showing off the fine details of the cinematography marvelously. A faint appearance of grain helps to encourage a film-like atmosphere to the presentation, which highlights solid colors and reasonably managed shadow detail. Actually, some sequences are so crisp and clear, they reveal the limitations of the special effects, dousing the considerable effort to believably blend the aliens with the humans. The film has a sweetened sensation of warmth, which mucks with natural skintones, but the visual intent is safely preserved here.

Audio:

The DTS-HD 5.1 track holds tremendous activity due to the alien hijinks, with lasers, pratfalls, and ships using the surround channels superbly, with generous LFE response during the film's heady smashes and crashes. Kiddie dialogue rants can get a little lost in the mix, but only on rare occurrences, with most of the lines clearly understood, even in the middle of all the domestic mayhem. Scoring sounds nice and clean, and is separated suitably from the rest of the audio elements. French and Spanish 5.1 tracks are also available.

Subtitles:

English SDH, Spanish, Portuguese, Cantonese, and Thai subtitles are included.

Extras:

"Introduction to Film with Ashley Tisdale" (:18) and "Introduction to Special Features with Ashley Tisdale" (:17) presents the actress on the set, welcoming the consumer to the world of the "Aliens" Blu-ray.

"Alternate Ending" (2:45) offers a few more beats of alien heroism, seen here in this unfinished footage.

"Deleted Scenes" (3:32) showcase teenager conflict, some sheriff slapstick, and what looks to be another alternate ending.

"Gag Reel" (5:08) is a burst of mix-em-ups; giggles and mistakes all around. Curiously, a few of the flubs involve the film's working title, "They Came from Upstairs."

"Behind the Zirkonians" (15:18) is a minimally animated prequel short. Thrown together in what seems to have been mere minutes, the story feeds into the opening of the feature film.

"Meet the Zirkonians" (19:45) offers 3-D models of Tazer, Sparks, Skip, and Razor to click around on, with cast and crew offering their thoughts on alien power and personality. A neat idea, well executed.

"The Ashley Encounters" (4:05) brings back Ms. Tisdale, who clowns around on-set, slaps her co-stars, and tries her best to sell the filming experience as a wonderland of professional pride.

"Kung-Fu Grandma" (1:17) is a faux commercial for a butt-kicking grandmother gaming system.

"'Electricity' Music Video" (1:36) is a clip from artist Brian Anthony, who never actually appears in this odd video -- a collection of film clips thrown together for speedy marketing use.

"Life After Film School with Barry Josephson" (27:31) is a Fox Movie Channel special, with three aspiring film students sitting down with the producer of "Aliens" to learn about the business and the movie. The show is slickly produced and well rehearsed, but there's production information contained here the rest of the supplements are missing.

A Theatrical Trailer has not been included.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Schultz doesn't push matters too strenuously, preferring to stay in a safe zone with established dollops of physical comedy and CG-enhanced shenanigans. There are scenes here and there that struck me as adequately inspired, but the rest of the film is routine, flavorless pap. Not offensive pap, but the kind of pap that the average family would be better off waiting for a rainy/snowbound day before viewing.