The Movie

Miss March hit theaters earlier this year (March 13, 2009 to be exact) and did horrible at the box office. It grossed in a whooping 4.5 million dollars and was trashed by reviewers. The simple fact is that no one really liked Miss March in theaters and the unrated version on DVD does not get any better. This movie is terrible in either form. It is a raunchy sex-oriented comedy that has countless tasteless jokes, stupid characters, and an even worse plotline. In short, this movie is one you can skip and be better off for not ever seeing.

The story is about friends Eugene Bell (Zach Cregger) and Tucker Cleigh (Trevor Moore). They find themselves in an odd situation where Eugene wakes up from a coma. They go on a crazy road trip from South Carolina to California and reunite with Eugene's high school sweetheart, who is now a Playboy Playmate. The movie begins when they were kids. Eugene and Tucker sneak into Eugene's older brother's room and find a Playboy magazine. While their initial impressions of the magazine were along the lines of "ewww, gross" naked women, the experience has a dramatic impact on Tucker. From this moment on, he becomes a full fledged horn dog. Playboy becomes his bible. At the same time, Eugene takes the opposite path teaching abstinence to younger kids. His older brother got a sexually transmitted disease; to Eugene, sex is problem.

Moving ahead into the future, it is their senior year in high school. Eugene has been dating Cindi Whitehall (Raquel Alessi) for a couple years. They are on an abstinence pack, but Cindi is getting itching to express their love more intimately. She pressures him into having sex on prom night. At the prom after-party, Tucker helps Eugene calm his nerves by drinking. Unfortunately, he got pretty wasted. When he was supposed to go upstairs to meet the girlfriend, he went down to the basement... falling down a flight of stairs and falling into a coma.

Four years later, Eugene wakes up from his coma when Tucker smashes his face with a baseball bat. They quickly catch up on what has been happening: Eugene's father moved to Florida, Cindi has is missing in action, Tucker is seeing Candace (Molly Stanton) who hated him in high school, and Tucker's good friend Horsedick Dot MPEG (Craig Robinson) has become a famous rapper. Life is confusing for Eugene and he only wants to find Cindi. Fortunately, they find her. Unfortunately, she is Miss March. Tucker decides to reunite them by taking Eugene to the Playboy Mansion for a big party where all the Playmates will be.

The plan is flawed, as Eugene has atrophy and can barely move. He has little control of his bowels (and on more than one occasion shits himself). Tucker also pisses off Candace when he stabs her with a fork and her crazy fireman brother wants to kill him. They also have no money. The good news is that Horsedick Dot MPEG is famous and has connections to get them to the Playboy Mansion. It is just too bad they get on his bad side. As the movie continues, Eugene and Tucker get into some really weird and stupid situations, such as axe throwing firemen, women flying out of buses, sex-crazed lesbians, and the like.

Overall, Miss March is more than lackluster. It is awful on many levels. The jokes tend to be of poor taste with little thought. The movie is basically one badly written piss and fart joke with a dash of sexual innuendos. Now don't get me wrong, I enjoy the occasional bad comedy that you can just let loose and enjoy. Piss and fart jokes make me laugh. However, the way Miss March goes about its jokes does not work. For the most of the movie, I could not help but think "who would find that funny?". Another issue I had with the movie was the characters. Trevor Moore plays Tucker and his voice alone made me want to scream. His character was supposed to be stupid, but he came off as too forced. Instead of his character being silly stupid, he was annoying stupid. In the end, Miss March is simply a horrible movie.

The DVD

Video:
As far as the picture quality goes, I cannot comment about it. The copy I have for review is a special screener copy, which is a single layered DVD-R with a very compressed picture. There is heavy compression and the picture is blocky and grainy.

Audio:
The audio is presented in English 5.1 Dolby digital surround sound and dubbed French 2.0 Dolby stereo sound. The 5.1 track is dynamic and makes decent use of the surround sound capability. In general, the sound quality is good and it provides an audible and clean track for dialogue and it sounds very lively when necessary (sound effects, music, etc.). The DVD also contains subtitles in English and Spanish.

Extras:

• Auditions: Timmy Williams and Darren Trumeter co-star with Moore and Cregger on the sketch comedy show The Whitest Kids U'Know. This extra consists of two joke "audition" tapes with Timmy (1:34) and Darren (2:31). Surprisingly, these short sketch auditions have more laughs than the actual feature.
• Down and Dirty with Horsedick.mpeg (2:09): is a joke expose of the character Horsedick.mpeg.
• Two versions of the movie: The movie can be watched as the theatrical release, R-rated, 89 minutes, or the unrated version, 93 minutes.

Final Thoughts:
Miss March is billeted as a comedy, but I am not sure I would count it as that. The movie is about two friends traveling across the country to reunite one of them (recently in a coma) with his high school sweetheart. Along the way, they run into some complications and there are a myriad of poor attempts at "jokes". As a movie, Miss March does not fare well. There is little to nothing appealing about it. The characters are bad, the plotline is stupid, the jokes do not work, and the acting performers are less than average. I might sound very harsh on this movie, but it is that bad. Skip it.