Haphazard and surprisingly uninformative. Smithsonian Networks, along with Infinity, have released White House Revealed, a short 2008 documentary that purports to look closely at the little-publicized White House Residency Staff, the 95-member (at least in 2008) crew of chefs, ushers, electricians, carpenters and household servants (that's the term used in the doc...) who cater to the President, the First Lady and the President's family while they temporarily reside in the People's House. If you're looking for detailed information on the Residency Staff (or for that matter even the most basic facts), go elsewhere, because this poorly designed and constructed doc just checked out.

Narrated by Martin Sheen, White House Revealed runs under 50 minutes, so if it really wants to tell us how the Residency Staff was formed, how it's been run and how it's run today, how it's maintained, and, perhaps most importantly today, how it's funded (a lot of parties going on up at the People's House lately), it had better do it quickly, keeping a tight focus on the narrative and most importantly: sticking to the point. Incredibly, White House Revealed answers almost none of those questions, filling up most of its time flitting back and forth between brief anecdotes from staff members and even a former President (George H. W. Bush and his wife, Barbara share quite a bit of screen time here) that may be superficially entertaining, but which ultimately amount to little without a meaningful context. What are the specific duties of the various people that work in the Residency Staff? I haven't a clue. How is anyone hired on to the staff? I don't know. How is anyone fired? Do they get written up for disciplinary problems, or do they, as I suspect, just...disappear? Again: don't know. Why do they get to stay on at the White House from one presidency to the next? Is it because they're union, or civil servants? Beats me. How does a maid say, "Good morning," to the President when she sees him in the hallway? Do they chat? Ask Clinton or Bush. How do they ship in all that food, and who buys it? And from where? You tell me. Where do they store stuff at the White House, like all the Christmas decorations? Do they have a storage unit out County Road 2? Maybe, but I'd be guessing. What's the process for security clearances? Hmmm.... What's the budget for a year's operation? How much does it cost for all those meals and desserts that are made up to satisfy the possible whims of our Commander-in-Chief and his family and all the guests and dignitaries that show up every day at the White House? And out of what department are all those tax dollars siphoned off for crème brulee for a 1000 dinner guests? I have no idea. For such a potentially fascinating subject that I would guess most Americans know very little about, White House Revealed doesn't seem too concerned with telling us about what the hell we're actually watching.

As well, White House Revealed is all over the place in terms of structure, discussing John Adams one minute, and then switching to Head Usher Gary Walters talking about lighting a fire for President Reagan during a summit meeting, before we're informed of segregated living quarters during the first three decades of the 20th century (and we're talking no details, no facts: just generalized statements about it with no background). Why this relatively lengthy sidebar on racism in the White House is included (aimed directly at President Hoover and his family when it's obvious it happened over the span of several Presidents' terms) when there's exactly one sentence devoted to how the Residency Staff was founded in the first place, is anyone's guess (I suspect P.C. concerns, since with these types of government-sponsored docs, racism is always a sure-fire money-shot for potential school curriculum tie-ins). But it's indicative of White House Revealed's scattershot, sketchy approach. One would think that after such a serious subject, White House Revealed would then move in a line to other weighty topics, but no; instead, we're immediately treated to the ridiculously lengthy (in the context of a 50-minute doc) segment of former Executive Pastry Chef Roland Mesnier's recollections about Presidents and the desserts they loved. Uh...yeah. Apparently, Reagan and Clinton loved their desserts, but Clinton was allergic to dairy and flour, so carrot cake was a good substitute, but Bubba liked to sneak a piece of chocolate cake now and then, but he was allergic to that, too, so...oh, jesus christ, who cares, Roland? Maybe it's the anxious, tense times we live in right now, but at this moment in history, I really don't care that Bush 41 was the most adventurous eater, and that Hillary liked her mocha cake (call it arbitrary and childish on my part, but when Mesnier repeatedly says "mocha" in that annoying French accent, I went running for the Philip's Milk of Magnesia®). And I certainly don't feel any sympathy for Bubba eating alone "for a few days," as Mesnier simpers, after the Lewinsky scandal broke, nor that he took comfort in a special cake that Mesnier whipped up for him (and don't think my griping is partisan; I don't care that the White House electrician was sad about Nixon, either). If I want to know anything about the Residency Staff and its connection to the Lewinsky affair, I don't want to hear from the pastry chef--I want to hear from housekeeping.

In fact, the more White House Revealed hop-skipped on, the more annoyed I became at its lack of any clear focus and its paucity of details, in favor of non-committal, folksy bullshit anecdotes like Bush 41 and his horseshoe matches with the help. With the laudatory tone of the doc already dooming its chances at being a genuinely thoughtful examination of this little-discussed segment of the U.S. government (are they actually government workers? Are they civil servants? Civilians? God, this doc never even tells me that!), the creeping subservient tone of the participants started to rub me the wrong way, too (hey, guys...you're basically servants, and they ain't "royalty." That's why he's "Mr. President" and the "Chief Executive." Not "Sir" or "Lord" or "King."). That's a subjective gripe, to be sure (and a cheap shot), but it takes on prominence when almost zero actual "history" of the inception, formation and continued utilization of the White House Residency Staff, is offered.

The DVDs:

The Video:
The non-anamorphic, 1.78:1 letterboxed image is adequate but certainly not optimal, with bright colors but occasional jaggy compression issues. About on par with earlier History releases.

The Audio:
Inexplicably, White House Revealed sports a Dolby Digital English 5.1 stereo mix that is underutilized (to say the least) in this dialogue-heavy doc. Still, it's crystal clear.... English close-captions are available.

The Extras:
There are no extras for White House Revealed.

Final Thoughts:
It's too bad the super-efficient, super-competent Residency Staff wasn't in charge of this documentary, as well, because maybe I would have actually learned something about them. White House Revealed is shapeless and willy-nilly, skipping from one anecdote to another about working in the White House, without ever really telling the viewer even the most basic facts about the Residency Staff. So...what's the point? You can skip White House Revealed.