Short Takes

When oodles of genetically engineered bats with a so-so appetite for human flesh escape a university lab, their nocturnal snacking threatens to sour a sleepy town's annual Apple Festival! Tapped to save the night is former big city cop Ally Parks (Tracy Nelson, granddaughter of the Ozzie who DIDN'T bite the head off a flying mammal) who's soon joined by veterinarian, part-time animal control officer and highly-eligible widower John Winslow (Whip Hubley). Daytime spelunking in search of the winged critters leads, of course, to late-night slow dancing and tongue rasslin' until the burgeoning couple is called to heroism. CineSchlocker fave Corbin Bernsen chews up nearly as much scenery as the bats with his exuberant turn as a beyond shady housing developer who refuses to let a few gnawed locals frighten away a gaggle of ill-informed investors. His nefarious doings are where the Scooby Doo-esque plot infiltrates this decidedly tame, nearly toothless creature feature that never really takes flight, or even bothers to try. Still, bat friendly CineSchlockers may find it edges ahead of a certain other guano-scented flick starring Lou Diamond Phillips. No breasts. Four corpses. Copious CGI shenanigans. Doberman munching. Exploding barn. Gratuitous "bat in hair" scene. Pussy cat massage. Bat cam. Police chief and sarcasm king Sam Taylor croaks, "Heather and Diane?! Now there's the names of two life-long violent felons! The deadly duo of Heather and Diane!!!"

2001, 94 minutes, Fullframe, Trailers.