"I've been patient my whole life, Pauly."
Do you enjoy mob movies like "The Godfather" and "Goodfellas?" Do you spend your afternoons looking into the mirror reciting lines from those movies? Are you a stereotypical Italian? Are you overweight? Do you enjoy "Bustin' Balls?" Is your first name Joe or Joseph? Did you try out for "The Sopranos" and get laughed at for having no acting ability whatsoever? Well, if you answered "Yes" to any of the above questions, then we want you to star in our movie!
Watching a movie like "Wannabes" is like watching an Italian train wreck. All the characters are mob stereotypes. The "made" guys are fat. The "wannabes" are young and full of attitude. Sounds like a formula for success right? Well, I can't even humor you… this movie is so awful I almost quit my job reviewing movies for DVDTalk.
The characters are as one-dimensional as it gets. I can't even remember one of their names from the movie (except for Pauly, and that's just because he's in my quote). The "wannabes" are looking to become heavy hitters in their neighborhood (they dress and act like it's the 80s, but this movie takes place in the late 90s, as they make countless Sopranos references).
The plot of this movie is inconsequential. You won't make it until the end of the movie without turning it off and putting in something better to wash that disgusting taste out of your mouth.
"Wannabes" is presented in Full Frame 1.33:1. Ugh, you think in this day and age, that a progressive film studio like Artisan would avoid Full Frame like the plague. The color palette is good, but the print suffers from specs of dirt, and grain. The picture also feels soft at times. Overall, I'm not too happy… remember kids, Full Frame bad!
The audio is presented here in Dolby 5.1 and 2.0. Everything sounds decent, which is more than I could really ask for. At times, the audio can sound a little hollow, and the dialogue is not as crisp and clean as I was expecting. But hey, there are no audio dropouts. That's a good thing, right?
Static DVD menu with the following choices: "Play Movie", and "Special Features." Now, I'm not a brain surgeon, but since when are chapter stops considered a special feature? Or Dolby 2.0 audio for that matter?
All we get is one stinkin' trailer for "Wannabes." The video quality for the trailer is downright horrible (think "Scarface" transfer). Oh well, maybe it's all for the best.
Avoid this movie like the plague. Don't even think about buying or renting it unless you're looking for an expensive coaster to rest your drinks upon, or you're looking for a creative way to throw your money away. In case you're interested in wasting your money, please consider sending some of it to me instead.