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Hot Cars, Fine Babes

Vanguard // Unrated // May 27, 2003
List Price: $19.95 [Buy now and save at Amazon]

Review by David Blair | posted June 23, 2003 | E-mail the Author

The Movie

With a title like Hot Cars, Fine Babes, you know your in for something, whether it be good or bad. But I suppose if you take a second look at a DVD with this kind of title, you should know exactly what you're getting into.

Hot Cars, Fine Babes is an MTV-like tour of amazing custom installations of cars, trucks, classics, and women's mammary glands. Yes, in this video you get to see everything from ridiculously modded civics, to kangaroo wannabe impalas, to half naked import models. Ah, it's a good time to be a car enthusiast isn't it?

Actually, I was expecting pure garbage from this video, and I was pleasantly surprised. Although skimpy in content due to its short 46-minute runtime, it does deliver the goods, as its title would suggest. And even though it would have been oh so easy to get extremely repetitive with this type of video, they do a reasonably good job of keeping the segments separated.

The show begins with our host, Helaina Gibson, introducing us to the video footage to follow. We then see several segments, all accompanied to the music of unknown yet, up-and-coming artists (as we're told). All the footage comes right from various car shows in the Southern California area. The segments all offer great cars to look at, including the import cars segment; where some of them seemed to be packing enough NOS to knock Paul Walker straight back to acting school. There was also an interesting segment called 'Paint Job' where we get to see a local artist work his magic on a custom car hood. But I have to say my favorite segment was the 'Car Hopping' segment. I had no idea that cars could leap off the ground THAT high. It's a wonder that they can even drive home after taking a beating like that. For most cars, the only thing holding it back is the obstruction of the rear bumper hitting the pavement. This was entertaining, if not hilarious footage, and I'd say this segment alone is worth a view.

But men who are solely interested in seeing scantily clad women should worry not, because there is an abundance of beautiful women to go around. Although I have my doubts that ALL of them knew their rear ends were being recorded for a worldwide-distributed DVD release.

So if this DVD sounds great to you thus far, it must be a slam-dunk winner right? Well, there were some serious problems. For starters, the video quality stinks worse than an import model's armpit after being forced to put her limbs around every perverted sweaty attendee that walks by. Secondly, the cheesy special effects that were used throughout the segments proved more distracting than useful, and only amplified the lousy video quality. Also, the movie was incredibly short, and some of the same footage was recycled more than once. So all in all, it was cool to see just how amazing some of these custom cars can be, but I think a little more time could have been put into the editing process. But other than that, you get exactly what the title says you do. So if that's enough for you, than you should be more than happy with this DVD.


The DVD

Video:
Hot Cars, Fine Babes is presented in standard 4:3 full screen. In short, this is a lousy looking DVD. There is so much pixelation, that it makes the picture look excessively grainy and out of focus. I know this must have been a low budget movie, but it ends up looking like a couple of kids went around with their mom's cheapo mini digital camera and stared filming willy nilly. It's a shame because a movie such as this really depends a lot on what being showed visually, so I was disappointed with the end result. Some of these cars are so beautiful, you just keep wishing that the pictures was defined enough to get a better look. Unfortunately, the video quality keeps you longing for this the entire time.

Audio:
This is basically a Dolby Digital 2.0 track, but it sounds like it's all in mono. The dialogue by our host sounds horrible, as if it came straight from a home video camcorder, and the music, though better, sounds muffled and uninspiring. This is too bad because I actually liked a lot of the music that was on this DVD. It would have been nice to enjoy it with decent audio representation.

Extras:
There are no extras on this disc, besides a very short clip of bloopers that run during the end credits.


Final Thoughts:
Hot Cars, Fine Babes is a simple look at various cars and women models that show up at local car shows in Southern California. If you're into custom low riders, extravagant show cars, fast and furious racers, and good-looking women, than this DVD is worth a look. However you may want to rent it before running out to buy it first, because the horrible video quality and short run time may make it not worth the trouble for some. Rent It

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