I'm a big softie when it comes to Shakespeare: film versions of the Bard's plays have a great track record with me, from faithful period-setting versions like Branagh's Henry V, to surreal interpretations like Titus, to completely modernized ones like O. So when I contemplated watching Royal Deceit, I was intrigued by the premise: a version not of Hamlet, but of the original source story (by the medieval author Saxo Grammaticus) that Shakespeare based his classic play on. But the question was, would the intrinsic appeal of the idea hold up to actually watching the film?

Aye, there's the rub. Like Shakespeare's tormented protagonist, I know a hawk from a handsaw... and I know a quality production from a half-baked, poorly executed muddle. But unlike that indecisive Prince of Denmark, I had no trouble making a decision: Royal Deceit is a complete waste of time.

Royal Deceit feels more like a dress rehearsal with a script in progress than a finished production. The story jumps right into the middle of things... so much so that it skips right over some of the most interesting events of the story. We meet young "Amled" (Christian Bale), his widowed mother (Helen Mirren), and his uncle (Gabriel Byrne), immediately after his father's untimely death; but instead of letting the story develop from there, a voiceover narration tells us about the "good stuff": Amled's suspicions about his uncle, the appearance of his father's ghost demanding vengeance, and his decision to feign madness to fool his uncle. You might think that if all of this is given just a dry summary by the voiceover, then the film must be reserving even more exciting material for later. That thought did cross my mind, but I was wrong: having skipped over the dramatic opening events, the film lingers on the least interesting parts of the story.

That is, we're given a great deal of time to appreciate Amled's disguise of madness and the rather clumsy attempts by his uncle and his uncle's henchmen to determine if it's true or faked. Gabriel Byrne attempts to bring some life into his cardboard bad-guy character, aided by some flashbacks that purport to show his brooding resentment toward his brother the king, but it's all curiously ineffective. Later, we get even more of what is probably intended as character development for Amled, but the curiously forgettable Bale really doesn't do more than wander through the film.

The annoying voiceover is a feature of the entire film. The narrator cuts in frequently to tell us what's going on, to describe Amled 's state of mind (isn't that what the actor is supposed to be doing?), and, more often than not, to tell us something that we either just saw, or can easily figure out. It's as if the scriptwriters were afraid that the audience might doze off and miss something. Given the overall effectiveness of the story, I have to admit that this is a reasonable fear.

Royal Deceit also falls prey to a variation on the "low-budget syndrome." In this case, it's not that the props or scenery are badly done: in fact, I was impressed by the overall dramatic landscape, and some nice details like the thoroughly authentic horses (or rather, Jutland ponies) ridden by the characters. No, the problem here seems to have been in the casting budget. If Amled's father was a king, then why did he seem to rule only a tiny village with about twenty inhabitants? Not that this matters all that much; it's just the icing on a very uninspired cake.

The DVD

Video

Royal Deceit is presented in a 1.33:1 aspect ratio transfer that appears to be the film's original aspect ratio (perhaps this was a direct-to-video release?). In any case, I didn't notice any examples of cropping or incorrect framing. It's a rather lackluster transfer, though, with the image degraded by heavy edge enhancement as well as dirt and scratches on the print. Overall, the picture is soft, with detail lost in the general fuzzy appearance of any shot further away than a close-up.

Audio

The Dolby 2.0 sound is sadly deficient; it's completely flat-sounding and not particularly clear. The volume level for environmental sounds is fairly high, but for dialogue it's quite low, so you may find yourself trying to fiddle with the volume controls on your remote in an effort to actually hear what the actors are saying. However, the sound quality is low, and even at a greater volume, the dialogue is muddy and difficult to understand (and not aided by the fact that most of the actors tend to mumble their lines).

Extras

The only special features here are trailers for "Miramax's New Golden Age" (a combination trailer that reminded me of all the much, much better movies that Miramax has released) and three other Miramax films.

Final thoughts

Royal Deceit isn't worth it even for enthusiasts of period films or Shakespearean drama: it may be based on the story that Shakespeare used to create Hamlet, but there's no excitement or drama to be found. Nor any decent acting, nor even a passable script. Alas, poor Yorick: if you're looking for entertainment, you'll have to look elsewhere.