I saw Glitter, and I saw Crossroads, so, I figured seeing Honey would complete the trilogy. Unfortunately, Honey did not live up to the "so bad it's good" non-standards of its predecessors.
For one thing, Jessica Alba is too darn cute and likeable. For my money, I want at least one good tantrum scene with streaming mascara.
Alas, the film is as sweet and pure as its namesake. Honey is a well-mannered and hard-working New York girl who dreams of becoming a dancer in a music video. Her dreams are realized with unconvincing speed when she is "discovered" by a video director named Michael Ellis. With Michael's success she skyrockets to success, but soon is forced to decide between her personal ethics and her dream.
Once Honey begins her music video career, the next half hour is no different than an MTV video block. Honey appears videos for hip hop stars including Jadakiss, Silkk, Tweet, and Ginuwine, and the montage of Honey's dance performances serve to stretch the flimsy plot to feature-length and showcase Alba's oiled abs. The choreography itself isn't any better than what you'd see in an average video, and the sets are completely unremarkable as well.
Alba proves to be a halfway decent dancer and has a suitable big screen presence. Where she falls flat on her face is in the delivery of "urban" dialogue such as, "Ya Flava' is hot," and "Ya gotta get down with me at The Center." Jessica, hon, I've only been to California twice in my life, but even I can tell you're straight outta' Pomona.
If I were about eleven I would go bananas for Honey. It's a sweet but formulaic story that tells you that good girls always win and only people with real talent succeed in the music industry. As an adult who knows a little bit about the entertainment biz, Honey comes across as little more than a good slumber party flick.
-Megan A. Denny