Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter
Paramount // R // $29.99 // October 17, 2000
Review by G. Noel Gross | posted February 15, 2002
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CineSchlock-O-Rama
Short Takes

An ambulance arrives to deliver Jason to the morgue, as he's assumed exceedingly dead at the end of Part 3. But the healing-power of young lovers is in the air, so he predictably clambers off his slab and punishes the dirty diddlers. Then it's back to Crystal Lake to butcher more camper meat. A prepubescent Corey Feldman has a cabin with his mom and hottie sister, where he spends his time making rubber monster masks. Thank gore guru Tom Savini for those, as he returns after his brilliant work on the original flick. Crispin "McFly" Glover is in the next cabin over among a gaggle of horny babes, but has a devil of a time closing a deal with any of them. They're all too busy stripping nekkid and splashing around the lake. Which that just means one thing -- there'll be lots of silence eerily broken by "Ki. Ki. Ki. Ma. Ma. Ma." Speaking of Harry Manfredini's famous score, few realize it's meant to reference Mrs. Voorhees' psychotic mutterance, "Kill her, Mommy! Kill her." But Mr. Glover steals the show. He even dies like a spazz. Comedy elements, intentional and otherwise, eek this flick ahead of its 3-D predecessor and Savini's inventive carnage never disappoints. Six breasts. 13 corpses. Corkscrew to the hand. Skinny-dipping twins. Hammer to the noggin. Gratuitous shower scene. Nurse Morgan zings her frisky co-worker, "Axel, I'm NOT going to fake any more orgasms for you!"

1984, 91 minutes, Widescreen (1.85:1), Trailer.

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G. Noel Gross is a Dallas graphic designer and avowed Drive-In Mutant who specializes in scribbling B-movie reviews. Noel is inspired by Joe Bob Briggs and his gospel of blood, breasts and beasts.


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