Cooking with Porn Stars for the Holidays
Music Video Distributors // Unrated // $14.95 // November 26, 2002
Review by G. Noel Gross | posted February 23, 2003
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Spastic cable-access host Colin Malone's half-baked cooking show returns with even less on its plate. Where vodka fueled the original's antics, this Christmas edition, denoted by Colin donning a Santa chapeaux, relies on reefer as the primary ingredient in its limp recipe for hilarity. Nakita Ka$h and Calli Cox paw one another whilst whipping up a green bean casserole. Tabitha Stevens bakes cookies, and to the bewilderment of the ever-tittering Mr. Malone, even provides her OWN milk. While double-your-pleasure covergirl Ruby delivers best on the show's inspired, but squandered, premise with a full array of Cajun vittles before retiring to her hot tub for the disc's sexiest moments. However fleeting. Eight breasts. Gratuitous Martha Stewart ref. Pubic hair tugging. One food fight. Gratuitous shower scene. Nipple frosting. Nakita squeals, "Oops! My top came off!!!" (2002, 43 minutes, 1.66:1, DD 2.0, Bonus striptease by Ms. Ka$h, Photos, Trailers.)

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G. Noel Gross is a Dallas graphic designer and avowed Drive-In Mutant who specializes in scribbling B-movie reviews. Noel is inspired by Joe Bob Briggs and his gospel of blood, breasts and beasts.


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