Las Siete Magnificas
Vanguard // Unrated // $29.95 // August 26, 2003
Review by Don Houston | posted October 18, 2003
M O V I E
V I D E O
A U D I O
E X T R A S
R E P L A Y
A D V I C E
Skip It
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R E V I E W S
Graphical Version
Movie: I've been a fan of foreign movies for a long time, ever since my youth, and learned back then that there were a great many cinematic treasures out there, waiting for me to stumble across them. On the other hand, I've also found out that for every grand movie made overseas, there were a couple dozen really lousy films waiting to be watched by an unsuspecting audience. One such movie from Mexico, Las Siete Magnificas Y Audaces Mujeres, stood out as a particularly bad release from the grand old year of 1979. It was also released under two English names; The Magnificent Seven and The Seven Seductive And Audacious Women.

The movie centered on a group of women who answer an advertisement in various newspapers. A very wealthy guy who wanted to find seven attractive women that wanted to enjoy his fortune with him placed the ad. The women, using whatever means necessary, all try to make it to the advertised meeting place on July seventh and win a spot in the contest. Needless to say, a lot of women attempt to lie, cheat, and steal their way into one of the open positions, and maybe even into first place, with the millionaire. If ever a movie lost something in translation, this would be the one.

Okay, I didn't really mind the objectification of women (I review a lot of adult movies) as trophies but the ladies used here were made to look so one dimensional and stereotyped, even I balked at the various characterizations written here. In almost every case, the women were duplicitous shrews that had no problem selling their bodies for money. How's that for family values? On an interesting note, it very much reminded me of the television show, Joe Millionaire.

So, if the writing was bad, what about the acting, you ask? Sadly, it was also pretty weak. Some of the problem can likely be attributed to the translation and the faulty script but I honestly think that most of them were reading their lines cold. By this point, some of you are probably thinking that the movie was one of those cheaply made sexploitation movies and should therefore be judged by a different standard. Well, that would be okay except there was very little nudity and many, if not most, of the women were not exactly what I'd call "magnificent". In fact, I'd call most of them on the low side for cashiers at a grocery store. (Yes, they were nothing special in most cases.)

If ever there were a film that should be rated as a Skip It, this would be the one. It wasn't bad enough to make it a cult classic; just bad in every way you'd try to evaluate a movie. Is it any wonder that the director never made another film in his short-lived career?

Picture: The picture was presented in 1.33:1 ratio full frame color. The colors looked very faded; there was a lot of grain, mosquito noise, picture scratches, and even some artifacts. The blacks were not true black and the focus was often soft to add to the visual deficiencies. I know the movie was made over twenty years ago but it made some low budget independent I've seen recently look stunning by comparison.

Sound: The sound was presented in monaural but on a remastered 5.1 stereo track. The music was what I call "porno standard" and repetitive while the vocals were often muted and difficult to make out. On top of that, the English subtitles were not always true translations of what was said and didn't add anything to the show.

Extras: None

Final Thoughts: I'm sure there are worse films out there on the market but this would give a majority of such films a run for their money. I've tried to tone down my criticism of the movie (really, I have) because no matter how you look at it, there wasn't anything redeeming about the movie to speak of. On every level of the technical and creative matters, I found nothing to praise and huge amounts to criticize. Pass this one up unless you want to be alternately bored and mystified at how poor movies make it to DVD.



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