Does an oil'd up Jessica Biel jiggling all over Texas make a great remake? Astonishingly, NO! Do copious extras and tin-plated packaging stifle the Texas Chainsaw Massacre update's stench? More than you'd think. Sadists (and a lousy premise) mistreat Misty Mundae in Screaming Dead. The next gen of B-queens talk shop in Something to Scream About. And speaking of queens, one of the "drag" variety hits the highway to hilarity with Britney Baby, One More Time. Plus, responses to reader emails and the ever-vigilant CineSchlock-O-Rama's Most Wanted.