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Reviews » DVD Video Reviews » Creature Unknown
Creature Unknown
Razor Digital // Unrated // June 29, 2004
List Price: $24.99 [Buy now and save at Amazon]
Review by G. Noel Gross | posted July 19, 2004 | E-mail the Author
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CineSchlock-O-Rama
Short Takes

Another horror-fied Big Chill update? Gimme Infested where that Power Ranger chippy karates killer insects over this rubber-suit yawner. Wait, that's not exactly fair. Like many a practitioner of the thespianic arts, this cranky critter's just a victim of crummy storytelling: Half dozen yappy twentysomethings hold a fireside blame game (a.k.a. high school reunion) only to become an all-it-can-eat buffet for a mutant tree frog. Predator and Pumpkinhead musta had better agents! Where there's the grotesque consequences of Mother Nature noodling there's USUALLY a mad, mad, mad scientist lurking nearby. That'd be Chase Masterson workin' a black leather vest as the genre's first "biker babe" genetic tinkerer. She's also got the pickled siblings of our leapin' lizard in her woodland bomb shelter and the real skinny on no-camera-tricks-required twin brooders Matt and Chris Hoffman. Two breasts. (Steady, Trekkies. Not Ms. Masterson). Nine corpses. Killer cam. Gratuitous goth gal. Squirrel squashing. Decapitation. Gratuitous urination. Puking. Most often overheard? Expletive-enthused variants of "What was that!?!" and "What the ... !?!" The latter being an apt summation of the flick itself. (2003, 79 mins, 1.85:1 anam [Despite cover's Fullframe claim], DD 5.1, Featurettes, Trailers.)

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G. Noel Gross is a Dallas graphic designer and avowed Drive-In Mutant who specializes in scribbling B-movie reviews. Noel is inspired by Joe Bob Briggs and his gospel of blood, breasts and beasts.
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