Why would someone make Full Clip? This supremely derivative action/comedy takes Walking Tall-style cleaning-up-the-old-neighborhood melodrama and dresses it in a Matrix trenchcoat. The film is so boringly rendered that it's difficult to watch. Every new scene telegraphs its purpose so loudly and obviously that the entire film could have just been a collection of postcards: New guy rolling up in town, debt collectors underestimating his fighting acumen, sexy girl acts coy and uninterested, sinister, corrupt, fat white sheriff approaches our hero, blah blah blah.

I guess the pitch here is that the film is created through the filter of hip hop culture, what with the lead played by Bustah Rhymes and his eventual sidekick played by Xzibit. Even Wyclef Jean turns in a preposterous performance as a completely unnecessary narrator. (What insight could he possibly add to this hoary collection of cliches?)

The problem is that none of the live-wire energy that hip hop (supposedly) still retains is present in the film. Rhymes sleepwalks through his dreary performance the same way he's monotoned his raps ever since he unwisely ditched his WHOO-HA persona. He's so uninteresting that at the half-hour mark I was checking the clock in hopes that Xzibit would turn up soon and pimp this flick. When he did eventually show up (riding in a Hummer, no less) he couldn't elevate this tremendously played out material.

Full Clip swallows up a bunch of legitimate actors as well, from Mark Boone Jr. (who should be familiar to David Fincher fans) as the sheriff to Nichole Hiltz (familiar from the terrific cable sitcom Good Girls Don't) to the eternally abused Ellen Cleghorne. The script and directing do these actors no favors. I wanted to be able to say that Bubba Smith steals the show as a guy named "Sleepy" (since that sounds like a weird thing to say) but he's just underutilized here (which really is a weird thing to say.)

The film doesn't set a particularly interesting atmosphere either. It's supposedly set in Alabama but I didn't need to check its closing credits or IMDb entry to be able to tell you that it was shot in Los Angeles. By restricting themselves to a couple of decrepit locations the team probably thought they could fool the audience into thinking that this was some backwater but, like in all other areas, their thinking was flawed.

Ultimately it's the terrible mix of painfully unfunny jokes and pathetically childish action that sinks this clip. There's no pacing or suspense and what tries to pass for comedy is just shameful. It's not surprising that the film was written by someone calling himself Kantz and directed by someone named mink. I wouldn't want my name associated with this mess either.

VIDEO:
The anamorphic video looks pretty good. The cinematography is murky and not nearly as stylish as the filmmakers think but that's not the fault of the transfer. The images are mostly sharp and the better lit scenes have a nice shimmer to them. Many of the interiors, however, suffer from crummy lighting and there's not much to be done with that.

AUDIO:
The Dolby Digital Stereo soundtrack is also fine. The voices are clear and the soundtrack (which is not as interesting as it should be) sounds pretty good.

EXTRAS:
Just some trailers.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
This is just another craven attempt to cash in on some names and an easy-sell genre. But even audiences who crave yet another DMX revenge flick will recognize the difference between the surprisingly legit directors who work with that rapper-actor and the hacks who turned out this trash. It's almost too obvious to say, but I can't resist: Full Clip is half cocked.