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Reviews » DVD Video Reviews » Zombiez
Zombiez
Lionsgate Home Entertainment // R // May 17, 2005
List Price: $19.98 [Buy now and save at Amazon]
Review by David Walker | posted May 29, 2005 | E-mail the Author
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The Film:
"How bad could this be?" That was the question I asked myself when I decided to watch Zombiez. Well, the answer to that question is "really f*ckin' bad".

Jenicia Garcia stars as Josephine, a member of a demolition team operating somewhere in New Jersey. One day, for reasons that will never be explained with any semblance on intelligence, some of her co-workers are attacked and killed by psychos wielding sharp objects. Said lunatics are actually zombiez – the voodoo sort, with a hip-hop flava – who do the bidding of their crazed master (Jakeem Sellers). Josephine spends a vast majority of the film running through the woods as the zombiez pursue her, and then she spends the rest of the movie battling them.

Now, as exciting as that may sound, believe me when I say I have not done justice to this craptacular bit of ineptitue. There is nothing good to say about this garbage. It doesn't even have decent helpings of violence, gore or nudity to use as selling points. Sure, Garcia traipses around in her underwear for a few minutes, but she never gets naked, and the underwear bit doesn't make up for the lame-brain molotov cocktail sequence (or anything else for that matter).

Zombiez is the sort of film that leaves you saying, "I could do something better than that," Hell, blind monkeys with Parkinson's Disease could make a better movie than this. Even the supremely bad, almost totally unwatchable Vampiyaz (which was made by the same company) is better than Zombiez. If you're a fan of horror films in general, and zombie flicks in particular, do yourself a HUGE favor, avoid this film like it was a pack of mindless flesh eaters come to devour your brain. Or more specifically, come to rot your brain.

Video:
Zombiez is presented full screen. The picture is also in focus, which proves the people who made this schlocky mess at least knew how to do one thing right.

Audio:
Zombiez is presented in 5.1 Dolby Digital and 2.0 Dolby Stereo. Neither option makes the movie any better.

Extras:
There is a trailer for Zombiez doesn't manage to make it look any better than it is. Also look for some other trailers for releases from Lions Gate – that way you'll know what other movies to avoid.


David Walker is the creator of BadAzz MoFo, a nationally published film critic, and the Writer/Director of Black Santa's Revenge with Ken Foree now on DVD [Buy it now]
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