CineSchlocker favorite Rowdy Roddy Piper is without equal. The wrestling megastar secured his place in B-movie history with They Live where he whupped a mess of Republican space invaders without even scratching his shades. Roddy even adlibed all the best dialogue from the flick. Stuff like "I have come here to chew bubble gum and kick ass -- and I'm all out of bubble gum" and "You look like your head fell in the cheese dip back in 1957." The guy's a downright natural. Just before They Live, Roddy made his leap into features with Hell Comes to Frogtown (1987, 86 minutes) where he actually borders on SWEET when he's not beating the snot out of stuntmen wearing rubber masks. Director Donald G. Jackson says the idea came to him in a flash when he saw the word "Frogtown" spray-painted on a wall. Return to Frogtown would pit Sam Hell (Robert Z'Dar) against those damn, dirty toads all over again, with the inevitable Toad Warrior not far behind.

The movie: World War III went off with a bigger boom-boom than folks thought it would, and when the fallout settled, the vast majority of survivors were left unable to make babies. Undoubtedly, this led to weeks of hedonistic debauchery, but we skip all that to a point where women are awfully determined to hear the pitter patter of little feet. Turns out Sam Hell is a true rarity -- a man who's firing on all cylinders -- so much so that if he even winks at a gal, storks start making flight plans. Government broads dupe him into serving his country by playing Johnny Appleseed and strap him into a steel chastity belt known affectionally as an ECR (Electronic C@#% Ring). The babe in charge of seeing Hell makes successful love connections is Sandahl Bergman as Spangle. She and gun-happy vixen Cec Verrell stuff a bewildered and VERY uncomfortable Sammy into a PINK van left over from Road Warrior and roar off toward Frogtown where human/amphibian mutants are keeping fertile females as sex slaves. It's Hell's quest to rescue these gals and have his way with them, all in the name of saving humanity. No kidding. CineSchlockers will be mesmerized by the exceedingly tasty Ms. Verrell who is said to have spent her off-camera time nude sunbathing during the shoot. Tragically, Ms. Bergman left all the real acting to Cec, which is odd considering Sandahl isn't exactly shy. Fans can see more of Ms. Bergman in her barbarian pictures, of course, but for a truly twisted treat check out Possessed by the Night with Shannon Tweed.

Notables: Two breasts. Three human corpses. Six dead toads. Gun polishing as foreplay. Diddling for freedom. Spitting. Hypodermic closeup. Gratuitous urination. Involuntary cliff diving. "Three Stooges" double-eye gouge. Bottle to the brainpan. Interpretive dance. Chainsaw attack. Gratuitous Casablanca reference. Wangdoodle electrocution.

Quotables: Sam Hell reels after hearing Spangle's plan, "You ladies must have MOONS for balls." And later, when things get serious, he barks, "EAT LEAD FROGGIES!!!" Spangle attempts to, ahem, elevate Sam's mood, "Relax, I've been trained in seduction techniques."

Time codes: An ode to The Planet of the Apes (1:12). Hell's electronic underpants attack (15:15). Sandahl does a striptease (27:12). The Dance of the Three Snakes ends poorly for Toady (1:02:20).

Audio/Video: Clean widescreen (1.85:1) transfer that maintains steady black levels throughout. Robust Dolby Digital stereo track that really allows parts of the score to pierce your skull with shrill Texas Chainsaw Massacre-like squawks and squeals.

Extras: Highly entertaining commentary by director Donald G. Jackson and writer Randall Frakes. Rather than going through the film shot-by-shot, they use the opportunity to talk about their early experiences working for Roger Corman's New World Pictures. Jackson explains how the budget leapt from $150,000 to $1.5 million on studio buzz over the script. Frakes tells the story of how he got himself banned from the set of the movie HE WROTE. Each also share a connection to the work of James Cameron and they get into that a bit. Static menus with audio. Trailer and printed insert with reproduction of original movie poster.

Final thought: Rowdy Roddy Piper has to save the world by diddling beautiful babes and squashing six-foot mutant toads with crummy attitudes. What's not to like? Highly Recommended.