The film is largely plotless, with Frankenstein (Rossano Brazzi, notably uncharismatic), now inexplicably a Baron, still plugging away at creating life from lifelessness. He's aided in his experiments by a lascivious dwarf, Genz (Dunn), with a taste for necrophilia; a horny hunchback, Kreegin (Xiro Papas), who enjoys rough sex; and a curiously normal Igor (Aryan-looking but Colorado-born Gordon Mitchell). Frankenstein's latest obsession is a creature he names Goliath (Loren Ewing), a hulking brute with singularly bad make-up. It looks like a cross between the Monster in the Closet in The Brain That Wouldn't Die and Bozo the Clown.

When Genz's taste for the ladies gets out of hand, yet another of Frankenstein's assistants, the sadistic Hans (Luciano Pigozzi, billed here as "Alan Collins") frames the dwarf for grave-robbing: "You miserable little worm," Hans tells him, "You don't deserve to live!" Frankenstein gives Genz the sack. (The frame-up is seriously flawed. Genz supposedly left tiny, child-like footprints at one of the graves, but Dunn's feet are clearly of normal size.) Despondent, Genz befriends another outcast, an earlier experiment of Frankenstein's, a resurrected Neanderthal Man (!) named Ook (!!), and played by one Boris Lugosi (!!!). (The actor's real name: the less evocative Salvatore Baccaro.)

Meanwhile, Frankenstein's daughter, Maria (Simonetta Vitelli), comes to visit, accompanied by her budding scientist girlfriend, Krista (Christiane Rucker), both with very seventies make-up and hair, the latter providing a romantic interest for the much older Baron. They enjoy nude bathing in the hot springs caverns - "Hee-hee! This dress is designed to get out of quickly!" "So it is! Hee-hee!" - that also happens to be where Ook resides, and where Genz plots his revenge against Frankenstein's brood.

An Italian production released there as Terror! Il castello della donne makedette, or "Terror! The Castle of the Cursed Women," Frankenstein's Castle of Freaks has a faux Hammer look to it, and was probably shot on a budget comparable to the British company's productions with Peter Cushing, but here the emphasis is on sleaze, not story. Actor Dunn reportedly was drinking heavily at this time and no wonder: imagine playing a character that molests a corpse in one early scene, and later on droolingly rapes a young woman in another, she obviously repulsed by his dwarfness. Making matters worse is that while Brazzi's voice is heard on the English version, Dunn's is obviously dubbed by someone else giving it a squeaky, Elisha Cook Jr.-esque interpretation. The tragic actor died of complications relating to his alcoholism (but apparently did not commit suicide, as is commonly assumed) before Frankenstein's Castle of Freaks went into release, so maybe he wasn't around to loop his own dialogue.

The sloppy production is minor in every respect. Its score features a cue that sounds exactly like chronic, perpetual flatulence while the film's incoherent climax is badly staged and ineptly edited.

As for Elvira, the part-Vampira, part-Valley Girl with the big knockers and cheerfully cynical attitude, well, she has her fans. She seems to draw an audience of those nostalgic for the horror movie hosts of the 1950s-'70s, and very young teenage boys drawn to her PG-rated sassiness. Her appeal escapes this reviewer, however.

Video & Audio

Frankenstein's Castle of Freaks is presented full frame (instead of what was probably a 1.85:1 OAR) mastered off a 35mm theatrical print that's on the purplish-side, notably scratched-up and splicy at the end of reels. Still, the image is fairly sharp and the framing reformats well on 16:9 sets. The film seems complete, despite some artificially-added fades in and out to accommodate the Elvira segments. The version without Elvira runs 1:29:44 while the version hosted by her runs 1:42:10. The Elvira segments were shot on videotape around 1983 and are on the murky side. Curiously, even the Elvira version includes a cut of the film that's complete with lots of nudity, so parents be warned: this is not something for the kiddies. There are no subtitle options, no Italian track, and no Extra Features.

Parting Thoughts

Frankenstein's Castle of Freaks is for Frankenstein movie completests only, made when the gothic horror film was on its last legs. Rent It.

Film historian Stuart Galbraith IV's most recent essays appear in Criterion's new three-disc Seven Samurai DVD and BCI Eclipse's The Quiet Duel.