When I was a kid, we had this great independent movie house: The Glenbyrne Cinema. It showed all the art house and foreign films that never came to any other cinema in Northwest Ohio; cool stuff like Breaker Morant and La Cage Aux Folles. It also showed all the grade B through Z stuff that only went to the local drive-in during the summer months. And what's more, they were purposefully lax when checking I.D.s.; you were of age if you could get your fist full of quarters up on the ticket counter. So, of course, when I was 15, my friend and I went to see The Seduction with Morgan Fairchild because...well, why wouldn't we go? After all, she was "Alone...Terrified...Trapped like an Animal!" The trailer showed her either getting undressed or wielding a huge shotgun, blasting away at anything that moved. We had a ball laughing at the whole thing.

Watching The Seduction today is still kind of fun, I guess. It's vintage early 80's sleaze, masquerading as high-toned trash, and if you have a weird thing for Morgan Fairchild, I suspect this could be your Gone With the Wind. Despite the high falutin' talk on the commentary and the extras, this is just boiler plate, and an excuse to show Fairchild in various stages of undress. That's fine with me, but don't try and snow me with any higher motives. In fact, when The Seduction finally drops its early teasing attitude, and goes straight for the jugular, it finally becomes interesting.

Morgan Fairchild plays Jaimie Douglas, a beautiful L.A. anchorwoman who likes to swim in her pool nude (thank you!). Her boyfriend, Brandon (Michael Sarrazin), likes to watch her (his words, not mine). Jaime answers back, "I like to be watched." Uh oh - wrong thing to say. You see, Uber-creep and hillside neighbor Derek (Andrew Stevens) likes to watch Jaimie, too. He's developed a sick obsession with Jaimie, and has convinced himself that she returns his love. Flowers, candy and other gifts fail to convince Jaimie of his sincerity, so he moves up to Forcible Photography in Jaimie's home, which naturally freaks out Jaimie. Brandon interrupts the Photo Shoot from Hell, and beats up Derek. But naturally, that only convinces Derek that Jaimie should be with him. Not even Brandon's cop friend, Maxwell (poor Vince Edwards), can put a stop to Derek's madness. Will Jaimie, once she's Alone, Terrified and Trapped like an Animal, be able to use "the only weapon she has....herself," to stop Derek?

The beginning of The Seduction starts off with a sensuous, hypnotic midnight swim, with a fully nude Fairchild paddling around her luxurious lighted pool, in glorious slow motion. Good start. But it's downhill from there. The entire movie exists to tease us into wondering when Fairchild is going to take her clothes off next, and quite frankly, after awhile, you get bored waiting for it. Sarrazin, a good actor, has absolutely nothing to do here except deliver the movie's funniest line: "Strong don't mean jacksh#$ when you're dealing with crazy" (Um....yeah). As well, seeing Sarrazin's "Oh" face (thank you, Office Space) is something I could really have done without. And poor Vince Edward shows open contempt for the sorry part he's dealt here. Stevens actually does what he's supposed to do: act like a psycho creep. Stevens was always good at playing unpleasant characters (The Boys in Company "C"), so he's fine in The Seduction.

As for Fairchild, yes; she's absolutely gorgeous. Put me down as a fan of her beauty. And the cinematographer must have been in love with her, because there's not one bad angle on her in this film. But she's not really asked to act here, just react, and there are times when she does that badly (her squealing for Stevens to stop when he's photographing her is painfully funny). To be fair, she's been good in other roles (she was a real hoot in the TV show, Flamingo Road, as well as genuinely effective in her stint on Falcon Crest). But in The Seduction, she's only asked to be a department store mannequin; a gorgeous face and body just aren't enough here.

When The Seduction finally stops the teasing, and gets down to the action, it's not bad. But unfortunately, we're only talking the last ten minutes of the film. When Fairchild prepares to battle Stevens (by first getting naked for us - thank you - and then slipping into a slinky black neglige with full makeup), the movie finally kicks into gear. Their final confrontation is quite well acted, with Fairchild finally released from the rigid stricture of the director's and cinematographer's measuring tape. She's tough talking, believable in her "seduction" of Derek, and she wields that pump-action shotgun very nicely. It's too bad The Seduction didn't abandon all that glossy magazine crap of endless tracking shots of beautiful Morgan, and instead got down and dirty with her right from the beginning, and let her act.

The DVD:

The Video:
Anchor Bay has delivered a very nice widescreen 2.35:1, 16:9 enhanced transfer of The Seduction. It looked like a million bucks when it first premiered, and the DVD accurately recreates the big screen look.

The Audio:
The Dolby Digital mono soundtrack is perfectly adequate for the job. Nothing spectacular, but it's exactly how it was intended to sound.

The Extras:
There's quite a few silly extras on The Seduction. There's a largely irrelevant documentary looking back on the production, with the writer/director (who's largely silent), the various producers including Irwin Yablans, and a couple of the supporting actors. Equally no help is the commentary with Yablans, Schmoeller, and Curtis. No Morgan, though, who's conspicuously absent from all of this. There's a funny, self-righteous segment on the film from a legal standpoint. While it's great to put up a website for people who are getting stalked, let's be honest. This movie existed to "stalk" Morgan Fairchild with the camera, and titillate the audience with glimpses of her beautiful body -- and make a pile of money in the process. There wasn't a single altruistic motive in its sleazy body -- and that's okay. But call it like it is; don't try and convince me that the movie was some kind of early warning for what's happening today. There's an informative section where the location work is discussed, and finally, the kick-ass trailer that got me to shell out a $1.25 (that's right -- that was the full price) to see it.

Final Thoughts:
Let's be honest: I'm only going to recommend The Seduction if you want to see Morgan Fairchild naked. That's about all I can say in favor of the film. Stevens acquits himself well, and Fairchild tries to pull it out at the end, but they're both defeated by an essentially empty premise. You can enjoy The Seduction on a "lowered expectations" level, if you're in the mood to laugh at something -- I suppose The Seduction could fit the bill as well as anything else for that small feat. So, if you're not a total Morgan Fairchild freak, rent it.