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Reviews » DVD Video Reviews » Play-Mate of the Apes
Play-Mate of the Apes
POPcinema // Unrated // February 26, 2002
List Price: $19.98 [Buy now and save at Dvdempire]
Review by G. Noel Gross | posted March 4, 2002 | E-mail the Author
C O N T E N T
V I D E O
A U D I O
E X T R A S
R E P L A Y
A D V I C E
Highly Recommended
E - M A I L
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P R I N T
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CineSchlock-O-Rama

Seduction Cinema and director John Bacchus have created a cottage industry with their continuing series of morally reprehensible and damned entertaining pop-culture spoofs which skirt the line between lesbian-friendly softcore porn and classic sexploitation fare. Flicks like The Erotic Witch Project, Gladiator Eroticvs, Erotic Survivor and now, Play-Mate of the Apes (2002, 89 minutes), their most ambitious film to date. It's also their best.

The movie: B-sensation Misty Mundae stars as Gaylor, an astronaut who crash lands on an unknown planet when her frisky crewmates (Anoushka and Sharon Engert) wake from hibernation and lose control of the ship along with their inhibitions. After wandering around in raincoats, er, spacesuits, they finally encounter other humans who can't speak, but are incredibly friendly. Just as an all-out petting party is about to get underway, TALKING APES throw nets over them and haul them off to Dr. Cornholeus' (Debbie Rochon) laboratory -- that just happens to look a lot like someone's basement rec room. Gaylor must share a cramped cell with a lovely human named Uvala (Darian Caine) who she soon finds is also VERY friendly and eager to please. Cornholeus is stunned that Gaylor -- whom she calls "White Thighs" -- has the ability to speak. This fact also draws the attention of General Lade (Bacchus) who insists that even if a human COULD talk, it still has no SOUL. He then proceeds to express his philosophy in song! As you see, this is also a MUSICAL!!! During the second dance number, Gaylor manages to escape with Uvala, Cornholeus and a PINK ape aptly named Dr. Kweera (Dan Schwab). While the rest of the film documents their harrowing journey to The Forbidden Zone (marked by a large neon sign) with periodic breaks for wanton lesbian lovin'. More than a third of the flick's total running time, actually. But what makes this especially memorable is its success as a downright hilarious parody with deliciously silly jabs at the original Planet of the Apes and even the deus ex machina finale of the Tim Burton remake. CineSchlockers will find particular humor in the wide variety of costume-shop gorilla suits employed.

Notables: Eight breasts. No corpses. Advanced lesbian tongue rasslin'. Gratuitous Mark Twain quote. Low-rent CGI. Late-night cable saxophone music. Tin-foil sneakers. Nipple patty cake. Gratuitous lemonade stand. Tree humping. Panty sniffing. Woodland dance party.

Quotables: Ms. Mundae under pressure, "You pressed the DO NOT PRESS button?! We're all gonna die!!!" As a skeptic, "Sure, Lt. Fornication! I'm sure that's why you were ass-naked and kissing!!!" Apeing Chuck Heston, "This is a MAD HOUSE!" and "You can't sing for [email protected]#$ you damn, dirty ape!" As Miss Fix-It, "It's amazing what a little bit of gum and snot can do!" Headlines from Primate: The Magazine for Adult Apes and Chimps, "Apes or Chimps: Who's Better in Bed? / Why Humans Stink / Top 50 Vacation Spots."

Time codes: James Bond-esque title sequence (:07). First girl-meets-girl encounter (4:00). Darian speaks the interplanetary language of love (19:20). General Lade rolls out his Vegas-era Elvis (31:11). Russian version of an electric blanket (40:40). Behold buxom Barbarian Queen Shelby Taylor (53:40). Darian beholds Shelby (1:04:00). Bacchus' trademark climatic all-skate orgy (1:18:03).

Audio/Video: Presented in its original fullframe format with a flawless transfer. Utilitarian Dolby Digital 2.0 track.

Extras: Typically fleshy and voyeuristic behind-the-scenes reel also mixes in the hows of production and an occasional blooper (12 mins). Interviews with the director, Ms. Mundae, Ms. Caine and Ms. Rochon (8 mins). Fans of Anoushka can ogle her new store-bought breasts in a special on-set "naked" interview as she quells the stress of the day with some self-gratification (6 mins). Ms. Inger does the same (4 mins). Don't miss the Green Verberts' "We're the Humans!" music video for a wacky spin on the Monkees anthem. Two versions of the trailer plus reels for Misty Mundae: Mummy Raider, Sexy 6th Sense, Gladiator Eroticvs, Erotic Survivor 2, Vampire Obsession, Erotic Mirror, Master's Play Thing, 2069: A Sexy Odyssey, Naughty Stewardesses, Inga, Seduction of Inga, I Like the Girls Who Do and Possession of Nurse Sherri. Static menus with audio.

Final thought: By far the funniest and sexiest film parody yet by the master of the genre. Highly Recommended.

Check out my revealing interview with
the lovely Misty Mundae!

G. Noel Gross is a Dallas graphic designer and avowed Drive-In Mutant who specializes in scribbling B-movie reviews. Noel is inspired by Joe Bob Briggs and his gospel of blood, breasts and beasts.
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