Miss March is a really stupid movie. Written, directed by and starring "two of 'The Whitest Kids U Know'", it's meandering, disgusting, amateurish and cheap-looking. It also made me laugh a couple of times, but not enough for me to recommend it. It wants to be a full-on cartoon-level farce, but every time it ramps up for some serious lunacy, it falls back lazily into a poop or dick joke, or a combination of both.

Eugene Bell (Zach Cregger, looking vaguely like Norm MacDonald) is a high school abstinence lecturer. His best friend, Tucker Cleigh (Trevor Moore), is a notorious horndog who every girl in school has a venomous death wish for. Eugene hasn't gone all the way with his girlfriend Cindi (Raquel Alessi), because he believes every word of his "wait-until-marriage" seminars, but she puts the pressure on him to do the deed after prom night, and Eugene agrees. Unfortunately, Tucker provides Eugene with one too many shots, and Eugene rises from a coma four years later to discover that Cindi's gone from his after-school co-host to posing for Playboy. Soon, the pair are off on an adventure that includes angry firemen, horny Russian lesbians, and Playboy bunnies.

I read the synopsis for Miss March on a website a month or so before I saw the trailer, and I thought it was a great concept for a movie. Cregger and Moore don't really care, though, and opt instead to be about as over-the-top as you can imagine. Some of the slapstick works (I was amused that Tucker's method of luring Eugene out of his coma is to hit him in the face with a baseball bat), although Moore's performance is so big it can be seen from space. One thing I can say in the movie's favor is that while this is not a "Whitest Kids U Know" movie, these TV veterans have crafted an actual plot instead of a string of little sketches (although it gets spottier near the end). They don't use their time effectively, however: scenes at a gas station take up a good ten minutes, and the boys meander aimlessly around the Mansion at the end of the film just wasting time. The duo have good chemistry, which brings some of Moore's performance back down towards the planet's surface. Coversely, while Cregger is often equally goofy (usually reacting in extreme pain to something Tucker's done to him), he's funnier the one or two times he gets to deliver a joke completely straight. I wonder if a more restrained performance by Cregger would have anchored the movie while Moore goes over-the-top.

This is mostly a two-man show, but some of the other actors make an impression. Raquel Alessi is particularly charming as the girl of Eugene's dreams, balancing innocence with sensuality. Molly Stanton, as Tucker's girlfriend, is a good Jaime Pressly substitute as she tracks him across the country. Best of all, the always-reliable Craig Robinson turns up and milks a few laughs as terrible rapper Horsedick Dot Mpeg. The problem with all of these characters is that none of them get enough screentime, and all seem like they come from their own universe. Hugh Hefner also shows up, but even more isolated from the rest of the production, and the entire bit is a shameless rip-off of the Stan Lee part of Mallrats anyway.

Once again -- I want to be clear -- this is a really stupid movie. I haven't seen any of "The Whitest Kids U Know", so I can't say if this is similar, but despite having the maniac verve I like my comedies to have, Miss March never takes off. It's right down the middle: too gross, not risky enough, over-the-top, yet inhibited. It may look like it was shot for twelve dollars (assuring every dollar goes straight in the bank), but it doesn't deserve yours. Fans will likely want to check it out, but I recommend waiting for DVD before taking an excessively over-the-top gander at this ridiculous, disgusting comedic spitball.