With awesomely high-concept, lurid poster art and a tag-line that - even in 1981 - they couldn't really deliver; "six of the most bizarre murders you will ever see," Happy Birthday had only one true selling point - Mary Ingalls herself, Melissa Sue Anderson as the headliner! Would the nubile hottie from Walnut Grove be injured or killed on screen? Would she instead kill someone? Would she ... gasp ... take a relaxing shower!? Of course, I won't spoil any surprises for you, but suffice it to say that regardless of any probable Anderson hanky-panky, Happy Birthday skirts most slasher movie clichés for a take that hearkens back to the giallo source. In other words, it's confusing, illogical and filled with more style than substance or scares.

Virginia Wainwright (Anderson) reenters college life after a near-fatal car accident. Mixing it up with pretentious, rich snobs - with which 'Ginny', at least in monetary terms, certainly can claim an allegiance - our heroine does the usual things. She dates a dork, rebuffs a stalker-like freak, and acts like a buffoon in the local watering hole. And yet something's not right, as her friends and lovers commence to getting knocked off by a black-gloved killer. Of course after each incisive incident, every suspicious man jack - even Ginny herself - shows up nearby wearing black leather gloves. Who could the murderer be?

Not being the sharpest pair of hedge clippers in the shed, I follow the obvious clues, winding up literally dumbfounded by movie's end. You might be too, as slavish attention to red herrings seemingly leaves any genuine clues or motivations on the sideline. Meanwhile on the field, autumnal collegiate atmosphere creates a dreamy air that lulls the viewer into a brandy-by-fireside somnolence that adds some small kick to evenly-spaced, episodic kill scenes. Rather than being bizarre, our offings are pretty tame and standard. The movie poster shish-kebab tracheotomy and a weightlifting 'accident' are as bizarre as these murders get, and though sometimes brutal, such acts of violence lack suspense.

Mystery comes in who-dunnit form, certainly, but with prurience aside, it's down to performances; Anderson, and legendary actor Glenn Ford (as her whack-job doctor) provide the best, while all other college kids wind up delineated with slasher-average smarm.

Happy Birthday To Me promises six bizarre murders. It delivers six murders, though the majority aren't all that bizarre. Less a teen-kill cash-in than an '80s update of the giallo formula, Happy Birthday touts plenty of style, but lacks the nasty verve of movies like Halloween or F13. Still, with a fine performance from the fine Melissa Sue Anderson, and lots of fun, dead-college-kid clichés, Happy Birthday delivers plenty of nostalgia value for aging horror aficionados.

The DVD

Video:
Happy Birthday To Me comes in a fantastic looking 1.85:1 anamorphic transfer, with rich colors, fairly unobtrusive grain and nice details. Details in shadowy areas break down slightly, but film damage and other compression artifacts are minimal to non-existent. There don't appear to be significant differences between this transfer and the previous one

Sound:
Dolby Digital 2.0 Stereo Audio is nice and strong, with great balance and a wonderful dynamic range. All the throaty-to-screechy strings of the original soundtrack come through with terrific fidelity, and overall the movie sounds fantastic. Of course the big deal is the very welcome restored original soundtrack, which is quite stylish and evocative.

Extras:
Extras are limited to SDH subtitling, and the Original Trailer, making this essentially a bare-bones disc.

Final Thoughts:
Happy Birthday To Me makes up for in atmosphere and style what it lacks in gore and terror (much of the bloodshed was apparently cut to obtain an R rating, the version which appears on this disc). With fine performances from Melissa Sue Anderson and Glenn Ford, plus the usual contingent of simpering victims, Happy Birthday pledges more allegiance to its giallo forebears than the early '80s teen-kill coattails marketing gurus wanted it to ride. In all, it presents elegantly loopy, fearful fun for horror nostalgia buffs and Melissa Sue Anderson freaks, plus, its moody score is back in place, making this something of a DVD gift. Those corn-fed on '80s horror can consider this Recommended.

www.kurtdahlke.com