THE FILM

I understand that writer/director Robert Rodriguez wants to give his R-rated instincts a rest on occasion, focusing on family entertainment to delight his numerous offspring and his own inner child. With 2001's "Spy Kids," it appeared the new direction was going to become an artistic boon for Rodriguez, allowing the filmmaker to expand his horizons. And then "Spy Kids 2" chipped the paint job, "Spy Kids 3-D" sneezed on the cake, and "The Adventures of Shark Boy and Lava Girl" made life just a little more difficult to live. "Shorts" is the latest round of juvenile antics from Rodriguez and advances his wasteful behavior, denting a promising filmmaking career on yet another crude distraction that plays much too obnoxiously.

"Shorts" is a story told in shorts, centered on the neighborhood of Black Falls, where the residents all work for the evil Mr. Black (James Spader) creating the Black Box, a cell phone-like gadget that can shape-shift into any helpful, portable device. Dropping from the sky one day is a rainbow-colored wishing rock, which falls into the hands of dork Toe Thompson (Jimmy Bennett). Embarking on a series of wishes, Toe turns the town upside down, tempting others to steal the rock for their own purposes, including school bully Helvetica (Jolie Vanier). With pals Loogie (Trevor Gagnon) and Nose (Jake Short), parents (including Jon Cryer, Leslie Mann, and William H. Macy), and Toe's sister (Kat Dennings) hunting around for the rock, it becomes a race against time once Mr. Black becomes aware of the stone's powers, hoping to take over the land with his wicked wishes.

Assuming his customary stance as the all-in-one filmmaking machine, Rodriguez (who directs, scripts, shoots, edits, co-scores, and prepares daily lunches) aims to whip up a live-action cartoon with "Shorts," breaking down the fantasy narrative into bite-sized pieces for easier consumption. The picture is five chapters of Black Falls shenanigans with the wonders of the wishing rock employed to tie it all together, permitting Rodriguez plenty of dead air to fashion his favorite cocktail of adolescent slapstick, aggressive scoring, and homegrown special effects.

Narrated by Toe (who also has the magical power to pause and fast-forward through the footage), "Shorts" is a purposely disjointed feature. Rodriguez is smart to rearrange story points, promoting a confusing swell of nervous energy to best backdrop the comedic disorder. There's no off button to the picture, leaving those sensitive to noise at the mercy of Rodriguez and his inability to throttle his immature exuberance. "Shorts" barrels ahead with annoying, camera-mugging child actors (Bennett and Vanier are inexcusably insufferable) and screeching visual effects, creating a piercing explosion of sight gags and cartoon sound cues, including random fart noises during the chapter breaks. Why? Because Rodriguez can.

Kids will likely devour this fantasia of bug-eyed reactions, miniature alien invasions, thespian hyperactivity, and booger monsters (one of the many icky and oddly predictable wishing rock mishaps), and Rodriguez makes it clear he's playing right to the nose-pickers. Still, the base sensibilities displayed here are covering for a decided lack of imagination. The man of a thousand jobs comes across as desperate to please, using every pandering device he can exploit to get the kids on his side.

THE BLU-RAY

Visual:

Featuring an insane color scheme and considerable cinematographic hyperactivity, the VC-1 encoded image (1.85:1 aspect ratio) on the "Shorts" BD is quite attractive. Just the wishing rock alone shows off incredible richness and color stability, while the rest of the antics remain equally as vibrant, especially the sickly green hues that arrive when matters head up-nostril. The film image is agreeable and very clean, revealing the digital edge Rodriguez likes to play with these days. Special effects are easily detected, but blend into the action comfortably, with stupendous detail reserved for the miniature matters of the wishes. Shadow detail is consistently good, opening up the action further, while allowing full inspection of costumes and corners.

Audio:

The Dolby TrueHD 5.1 sound mix bounces all over the soundstage, selling the bejesus out of the cartoon antics. The true chaos of the mix does run somewhat thin when dealing with cacophony of juvenile voices and piercing scoring, but the majority of the mayhem is sold well. Alien business and neighborhood property damage contribute evocative surround activity, along with a healthy LFE response, which booms through the room near the end when all hell breaks loose. Dialogue exchanges are frantic but discernable, blended well with the sugared madness.

Subtitles:

English SDH, French, and Spanish subtitles are offered.

Extras:

"The Magic of 'Shorts'" (9:19) is a mercifully concise round-up of the film's production challenges and use of visual effects. Spotlighting the digital trickery and thespian concentration, the featurette dutifully examines the considerable effort to lend the picture a spastic quality that compliments a child's mind.

"Ten Minute Film School" (8:50) takes the viewer into the Rodriguez family home video library, where the director highlights the importance of sound effects to sell lukewarm visual ideas. The conversation soon shuffles over to test footage Rodriguez shot at his Texas ranch to help convince studio heads to fund "Shorts."

"Ten Minute Cooking School: Chocolate Chip Volcano Cookies" (9:58) showcases Rodriguez and his 4-year-old daughter Rhiannon in the kitchen making sweets for the family. However, after viewing all the times the younger Rodriguez has her fingers up her nose, I'm not sure how appetizing a cooking segment this really is.

"Show & Tell" (5:20) hands the camera to the young stars of the film, where they demonstrate their hyperactivity and camaraderie for the viewer.

A Theatrical Trailer had not been included.

FINAL THOUGHTS

While there's some thrill in seeing Duckie and Steff share the frame once again, there's nothing for adults to latch onto with "Shorts." It's a vacuous feature, devoid of any charms; a cartoon mishmash missing fizz and ingenuity to make it bearable to any audience member crazy enough to evolve beyond a fascination with nostril functions.