But movies like this pose a problem for the reviewer, movies about which we can neither make heads, nor tails. Should we do it right, reviewing first at the risk of making fools of ourselves by missing the point entirely, or do we make a brief attempt to gather consensus? To see if any other critics could figure this thing out. Do we have one of the worst, weirdest, dumbest horror movie allegories ever, or an insanely deceptive example of absurdist filmmaking? Are we in Troll 2 territory, and if so, why isn't The Carrier getting ritualistic midnight showings of its own?

Code Red Releasing probably doesn't even have any answers, but deserves immense thanks for rescuing this orphan from the trash heap of time. If we examine writer/director Nathan J. White's IMDB page, we get a possible answer; he's executive produced only one other title, leaving The Carrier as his sole statement for the world. It's a weird one.

Starting with brief promise, we're treated to mysterious, involving set-up as a young man peers in on a Country Dance. He doesn't want to go in, and everyone seems to hate him. Why, oh why? After director White diffuses some tension with half-answers, his movie dive bombs straight into total incomprehensibility, by the 13-minute mark, around the time our protagonist Jake (Gregory Fortescue) says he wants to "cut his mind out." For writer White, this seems like the best place to throw every other hope of plausibility out the window by having a character's hand melted away by a copy of Dr. Seuss' book 'One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish.' You've never seen a street full of small town hicks panic at the sight of a man with a steaming kids' book where his hand should be with quite this much mentally crippled verve before.

Conveniently, this movie gets even more ridiculous as it's determined that what's happening is a super-contagious disease that can be spread by inanimate objects, but the townspeople can't escape to safety since a superstorm knocked out the only bridge into their town - the quaint village of Sleepyrock. The town's only African American resident, Dr. King (Steve Dixon) wants to unite the fractious, intolerant residents (yep) in protecting themselves - "I especially recommend [wrapping yourselves in] these plastics. They're non-porous and extremely ... beneficial," he says - so that they can both avoid going on a witch hunt to find the disease carrier, and also build a "series of platforms down into the gorge" so they can get to the big city and find out what's up. Alas, it's not to be - for anyone.

The townsfolk go about their insane business, obscuring their faces so we can never tell who is who, while in a frenzy of wrapping themselves in garbage bags and tablecloths. Actually, we can tell the 'bad guys' from the 'good guys,' since the bad ones use black trash bags and the good use clear plastic. But when you've draped your head in a curtain, what does it matter? Considering random objects can make you melt, (discretely, for the most part - this is no gore movie) the townsfolk cleverly mark 'infected' items with red tape, leading to lots of brain-meltingly hilarious talk about threatening each other with 'red objects.' And let's not forget the importance of cats; "they sure as hell ain't offering us any cats!" shouts one angered villager.

As heavy-handed allegories (I hope) go, they don't get any more bizarre than this. If it weren't for boatloads of clunky, unintentionally funny dialog and routinely stilted performances, I'd say this jab at intolerant fundamentalist Christians (I think) is a work of absurdist near-genius. However, I'm leaning toward The Carrier being one of the worst movies ever made. And that's worst in a defiantly entertaining way. Though mostly competently shot, this is a Filmmaking 101 exercise gone horribly, horribly wrong, with the internal logic of a schizoid 9-year-old. Nothing makes sense, while everything has the potential to make your jaw drop with laughter, and there are many indications that we're meant to take this movie seriously. In artless, talentless fashion, there are just as many instances where you'll think White is messing with us in the same way an unduly intelligent, drunken hobo might. There are some for whom this unknown oddity will be a brilliant piece of outsider art. For you sickos, it's Highly Recommended.

The DVD

Video:
This professionally manufactured check disk shouldn't be considered representative of final product, though likely, it is. The fullscreen 1.33:1 ratio presentation looks pretty good, with a bit of tasteful grain, bright, natural and saturated colors. The print is solid, without any real damage, and this transfer avoids major compression artifacts.

Sound:
Though on a check disk, this Dolby Digital Stereo Audio Track is also perfectly acceptable. There is some nice activity and stereo placement in the mix, and most all dialog is clear and understandable. The soundtrack, while as heavy-handed and dunderheaded as the rest of the movie, is mixed in well.

Extras:
In addition to the film's Trailer and other Code Red Trailers there is a Commentary Track moderated by Scott Spiegel, with director White. White seems mentally sound (I'm kidding, of course he's sane) and is quite pleased with the film, as is Spiegel. Though there is plenty of ohh-ing and ahh-ing, and instances of, "that's so cool," there is much decent behind the scenes information, and White's explanation of his plot. I'm still not buying this movie, but as usual, I have a tad more respect for the production crew after listening.

Final Thoughts:
The Carrier is a Filmmaking 101 exercise gone horribly, horribly wrong, with the internal logic of a schizoid 9-year-old. Nothing makes sense in this allegorical horror story, while everything has the potential to make your jaw drop with laughter. In artless, talentless fashion, White seems to be messing with us, in the same way an unduly intelligent, drunken hobo might. There are some for whom this unknown oddity will be a brilliant piece of outsider art. For you sickos, it's Highly Recommended.

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