Short Takes

VICTORY OVER VHS OBLIVION! After 46 weeks among CineSchlock-O-Rama's Most Wanted, the unyielding vigilance of all CineSchlockers has been rewarded with another capture.

Post-apocalyptic cinema's biggest gun, Charlton Heston, is the apparent sole survivor of an Earth scorched vacant by biological warfare -- though one not repopulated by talking apes. In any case, he isn't QUITE alone, exactly. Psychopathic mole people calling themselves "The Family" wanna charbroil Chuck because of his rosy complection and blatant use of, gulp, TECHNOLOGY!!! They're led by a news anchor turned exceedingly chatty zealot called Matthais (Anthony Zerbe) who blames the destruction of mankind on said gizmos. But miraculously, on the path to a particularly bloody final reel, and more Christ symbology than you can shake a crucifix at, lonely ol' Chuck and his rooftop mounted .50 caliber machine gun are joined by comely soul sister Rosalin Cash and pals who love blowing away mutant keister as much as, if not more than, the future NRA pres does. CineSchlockers who'd previously seen Mr. Heston tool around LA all by his lonesome in the flick's first reel, while impressed, weren't nearly so gapjawed by the sobering opening scenes of a lifeless London in 28 Days Later. In fact, both flicks owe thematic debts to Vincent Price's underappreciated turn as The Last Man on Earth. Two breasts. 46 corpses. Multiple firesuit stunts. Apartment trashing. Book burning. Shoplifting. Gratuitous Woodstock footage. Diddling for mankind's preservation. Mr. Zerbe editorializes: "Now the question is survival. Is this the end of technological man? Is this the conclusion of all our yesterdays? The boasts of our fabled science? The superhuman conquests of space and time? The age of the wheel? We were warned of the judgment. Well, here it is! Here, now in the form of billions of microscopic bacilli. This is THE END!!!" (1971, 98 mins, 2.35:1 anam, DD mono, New quickie Q&As with screenwriter Joyce H. Corrington alongside actors Paul Koslo [Dutch] and Eric Laneuville [Richie], Vintage "Last Man Alive" featurette notable for Heston locking brainpans with acclaimed anthropologist Dr. Ashley Montague, Trailer.)