Mutant
Elite // R // $24.95 // October 31, 2000
Review by G. Noel Gross | posted July 16, 2002
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In this sub-par zombie fest, toxic waste taints the water supply causing locals to wear too much blue grease paint and ooze disgustin' goo from their hands. Before that, though, Josh and Mike Cameron are city boys who venture down the wrong country road and wind up getting rear-ended by soon-to-be flesh-munching rednecks. Unlike Ned Beatty, only their pride is bruised when a truck full of cackling yokels ram the brothers' car into a creek. After hitchhiking into town, young Mike (Lee Montgomery) finds a dead guy in an alley who somehow gets swapped for a different dude entirely before Sheriff Stewart (Bo Hopkins) arrives. When this second fella staggers off in a drunken stupor, all that remains that jives with Mike's story is some icky yellow slime, which Stewart scoops up for show-and-tell with his lady doctor friend. Given all this weirdness, the older, cockier brother Josh (Wings Hauser) just wants to skedaddle, but can't when he wakes to find Mike missing, that and the fact Josh meets a hot chick he wants to get neighborly with (Jody Medford). However, both issues aren't quite so pressing when the entire citizenry starts going zombie and ogling him like he's a two-legged combo meal. No breasts. 31 dead bodies. Redneck driving lesson. Gratuitous urination. Bar fight (with broken beer bottle). Fire-suit stunts. Lead pipe duel. Sheriff Stewart knows how to sweet talk the broads, "You're still the same wonderful, beautiful person -- even if you ARE a woman!"

1984, 100 minutes, Widescreen (1.85:1), Theatrical trailer.

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G. Noel Gross is a Dallas graphic designer and avowed Drive-In Mutant who specializes in scribbling B-movie reviews. Noel is inspired by Joe Bob Briggs and his gospel of blood, breasts and beasts.


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