The Shape of Things To Come
Image // PG // $24.99 // February 11, 2003
Review by G. Noel Gross | posted February 23, 2003
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From the director of Frogs comes this dubious interpretation of the H.G. Wells classic. Seven years after robot wars left Earth uninhabitable, the New Washington moon colony is threatened by a lonely fella (CineSchlocker fave Jack Palance) who becomes so weary of just bossing his robotic minions around that he figures it'd be a hoot to rule some fellow Earthlings. Except, tragically, he goes about it ALL wrong. So it's up to the crew of the Starstreak to save the universe, or at least the moon. Released in 1979, the sets and FX look more akin to nineteen FIFTY-nine with the aptly named "Sparks" and his robo-ilk who precariously teeter along like oversized popcorn poppers with great big salad tongs for arms. Yet, presumably, therein lies the charm. No breasts. Nine corpses. Robo-stuttering. Bolder to the brainpan. Mutant kiddos. Low-rent jumpcut teleportations. Kamikaze space truckers. Nicholas Campbell says exactly what we're all thinking after a 2001-esque psychedelic space travel sequence, "What the hell was THAT all about?!" (1979, 1.66:1 anam, DD mono, Photos, Trailer.)

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G. Noel Gross is a Dallas graphic designer and avowed Drive-In Mutant who specializes in scribbling B-movie reviews. Noel is inspired by Joe Bob Briggs and his gospel of blood, breasts and beasts.


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