Kindergarten Cop 2
Universal // PG-13 // $12.99 // May 17, 2016
Review by Kurt Dahlke | posted June 27, 2016
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Graphical Version
Kindergarten Cop 2:
Netflix has kind of taken the fun out of reviewing DVDs, what with stuff like Kindergarten Cop 2 streaming seemingly well before you can even drop your bucks on the rental counter for a peek. What's a 'rental' you ask? What's a counter? Oh man, the Internet has sent to world to hell in a hand basket. On your way there (to hell) you might find Kindergarten Cop 2 playing in the background, and you'll realize hell might not be all that bad after all.

At least that's what we say about Kindergarten Cop 2, starring the stoic Swede Dolph Lundgren, and the criminally underused Bill Bellamy; it's not all that bad. It's ubiquity in streaming circles means you'll either need to make the conscious choice to watch it, or it'll just happen on its own, eventually. A sequel in name only, KC2 features Lundgren as Agent Reed, a tough-as-nails, loose cannon type of FBI Agent (no clichés here ...) who lives an iconic loner's life in an airstream trailer by a beautiful lake. When he's not washing his clothes in an old oil barrel or something he's falling in love with his female marks, one by one.

His pal Agent Sanders (Bellamy) tries keeping him on the straight-and-narrow, but Reed's having none of that. Soon enough, Reed's doing undercover work as a kindergarten teacher at a ritzy private school, hoping to find a missing USB drive and smoke out a major drug dealer. (Pun intended, but not warranted.) Can Reed possibly pull the wool over a bunch of over-privileged five-year-old's eyes, catch the bad guy, and avoid falling in love with the other ultra-hot kindergarten teacher? Hell to the no!

Like the previous Kindergarten Cop, KC2 treads action comedy ground, uneasily, and not in the least because guns and kids don't easily mix. Inside KC2 lie two passable movies for a rainy Saturday afternoon. One suspects Lundgren could carry the action movie much more easily, but finds that in this case the kiddie comedy comes out just slightly ahead, and not because Lundgren forms any kind of rapport with the kids.

KC2's strengths lie in its ability to skewer liberal mores in child rearing. It's an easy target, but one that's not often put on notice in a B-movie. It's a pleasure to watch the air taken out of current trends to raise a bunch of namby-pamby, sensitive kids afraid of adversity. KC2 lands more than its fair share of punches, generating plenty of laughs along the way. Plenty of extremes in overuse are generated too, such as when Reed feeds his students peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, (heaven forbid!) sending the kids on a ten-minute rampage, virtually destroying their classroom. Director Don Michael Paul also relies heavily on musical montages. While the tunes in the soundtrack are mysteriously pretty fantastic, a little goes a very long way when watching precocious kids mug for the camera.

And that's a ton written for a decades late B-movie sequel. Kindergarten Cop 2 doles out plenty of laughs and some gripping action sequences, anchored by Lundgren's curious accent and apparently truckloads of sponsorship money from Twix. (Seriously, whatever its strengths or faults, this is in the end a feature-length advertisement for Twix candy bars. Mmmm, satisfying!) Though it pains me to use such a tired recommendation, go ahead and Rent It when you're ready to shut off the old brain and just have a good time.

The DVD

Video:
Presented in 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen, Kindergarten Cop 2 enjoys a picture notable for lovely, rich colors, natural flesh-tones and good gradations in light levels. Details are great for DVD, with good clarity throughout most all focal points, and decent retention of sharpness in shadows. No glaring problems in transfer or compression are noted, either.

Sound:
Boy howdy! Dolby Digital 5.1 Audio comes in five languages, including English, Spanish, French, Brazilian Portuguese, and Japanese. While I didn't test out all five tracks, the English one sounds great, with a fine mix between dialog, songs, and sound effects. The 5.1 mix really highlights gunshots, etc. in the action sequences, with a healthy bass response and nice dynamic placement. The soundtrack really stands out, mostly with super-catchy ready for radio pop songs and quality remakes of older tunes.

Extras:
In addition to Nine (!) Different Subtitles (English SDH, Spanish, French, Brazilian Portuguese, Cantonese, Japanese, Korean, Traditional Mandarin and Thai) you get a smattering of Deleted Scenes, (ten minutes) an always welcome Gag Reel, (two minutes) and a short EPK featurette, Kindergarten Cop 2: Undercover (five minutes).

Final Thoughts:
Kindergarten Cop 2 doles out plenty of laughs and some gripping action sequences, anchored by Lundgren's curious accent and apparently truckloads of sponsorship money from Twix. While the two genres never quite gel (especially with all those five-year-olds running around) and director Don Michael Paul layers on the music montages way too thickly, you could do way worse on a rainy Saturday. Rent It.



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