Short Takes

Here's a sequel for those yayhoos who invested themselves in the PLOT the first go around. Let's see, that's ... one ... two ... THREE people. Five TOPS if ya throw in the writer and director. But mainly we're talkin' Denise Richards, Neve Campbell and Matt Dillon. The thespianic trio who somehow rationalized themselves into, for art's sake, mainstream Hollywood's most champagne-slathered group grope. See they HAD to give a rat's hiney about who quadruple-crossed who just to look their sainted mamas square in the eye afterward. The rest of us? That's why our Japanese brothers invented fast-forward and slow-mo buttons. So, Denise darlin ... Neve, Matt, you kiddos go right ahead and watch some MORE pretzel'd plotlines. We freeze-frame perverts will rejoin ya about 40 minutes in when the requisite menage ensues betwixt nuevo-riche girl Susan Ward, bad girl Leila Arcieri and crooked coroner Tony Denison (plus a body double recouping her career investment.) Although, it's hardly worth popping a cork over. CineSchlockers smitten by Ms. Ward's enormous, yet untapped talents should consider perusing the international cut of The In Crowd. Six breasts. Four corpses. Gratuitous fan-boat footage. Heckling. Slow-mo volleyball jiggle fest. Gratuitous shower sequence. Poolside mourning. Lesbian tongue rasslin. Bitch slapping. Stout nominee for Line of the Year: "He'd seen more p@#&$ than an animal hospital." (2004, 95 mins, 1.85:1 anam, DD 5.1, Trailers, Featurette. Note: Marvel as Ms. Ward mangles the word "gregarious" during her on-set interview.)