Short Takes

VICTORY OVER VHS OBLIVION! The vigilance of CineSchlockers has been rewarded with another capture after 103 weeks among CineSchlock-O-Rama's Most Wanted.

Master thespian and good-time party boy Richard Harris gets extremely crossways with a bloodthirsty widower determined to avenge the murder of his wife and unborn kiddo. Only it ain't exactly fair because Harris is a hooch lovin' sea dog and the vengeful hubby is a 30-foot KILLER WHALE!!! (Think Chuck Bronson with 48 giant choppers.) This breeds laughable scenes of highly destructive behavior by this Shamu gone nutzoid who chomps everything and everyone so foolish as to wander near the water. Before that, there's the decidedly puke-worthy image of a whale preemie bursting from its hemorrhaging mama's gut. Leaves little wonder why an already hobbled Bo Derek is dealt with so severely! Always the (pickled) pro, Harris emotes like it's Shakespeare, or more likely, Melville, right up until the credits roll. Oh, and when they do, shiver yer timbers to the plaintive Carol Connors groaner "We Love, We Are One."

No breasts. Five corpses. Crafty Orca vs. Jaws opening. Excessive blow-hole footage. Gratuitous legend-spouting indian. Killer cam. Leg munching. Puking. Mr. Harris emotes: "YOU REVENGEFUL SON OF A BITCH! YOU WIN!!! YOU WANT REVENGE! WELL, YOU'LL HAVE IT! I'LL COME OUT AND FIGHT YOU! I'LL FIGHT YOU!!! YOU REVENGEFUL SON OF A BITCH! YOU WIN!!! DO YOU HEAR ME!?! YOU WIN!!!"

1977, 92 mins, 2.35:1 anam, DD mono, Trailer.