Intended to be a tongue-in-cheek homage to the 1970's "horny mutated monster on the loose" subgenre (think Humanoids from the Deep without the deep and insightful social commentary), the stupidly named Frog-g-g! delivers about 77 minutes of broad and obvious cliches and stereotypes ... but does precisely nothing with them.

Director Cody Jarrett doesn't want to make a gory, scary horror movie, and clearly he doesn't have the skill to mount an Airplane!-type spoof, so his movie feels less like an homage and more life a low-rent ripoff. The fact that Frog-g-g! has a light tone and a silly approach simply indicates that everyone on-set probably had a pretty good time making the thing ... without really giving much thought to if the viewer's having any fun.

Here's the scoop, for the eleven of you who might not have heard this tune before: an evil chemical company, a bunch of toxic waste, a horny mutated frog-man, and a frequently naked lesbian who's also an EPA agent ... hey, what was that last one?

Pretty much every single plot point and tiresome development is shoehorned out of a dozen other "nature runs amok" monsterfests. OK, the lesbian angle is a new one, I'll admit. Doesn't make the flick any less stupid.

So the EPA agent and a reluctant cop slowly figure out the scoop regarding the human-sized and perpetually horny manphibian, and off they head to slay the outrageously goofy beastie. (Picture a guy wrapped in a green garbage bag and wearing an old Greedo mask.) Occasionally the "frog-g-g" will swat someone on the neck or mount an unwilling young lady ... but here's the problem: none of it's scary (which I think was intentional) and none of it's really funny (which is what I think they were shooting for). If Frog-g-g! is a satire, then where are the jokes? And no, incessantly ridiculous dialogue doesn't not count as a "joke."

To those few who love and remember the cheesiest of the 1970's b-movie drive-in fare, then you may earn a few mumbly chuckles from what's offered in Frog-g-g! ... but I'm precisely the sort of horror geek that this movie was made for, and even at 77 minutes, I was pretty much bored out of my skull. Thanks for the frequent knockers, fellas, but you need a whole lot more than some topless actresses and a moonwalking frogman to earn my recommendation.

The DVD

Video: A not-half-bad-all-things-considered Widescreen transfer ... which probably cost more than the movie itself did.

Audio: Dolby Digital 2.0, and yes, there's actually a theme song that goes "He's the frooooooggg frog frooooooggg!"

Extras: There's a goofy little PSA trailer that introduces the freaky frog flick, and a 10-minute featurette entitled "The Making of Frog-g-g!" that delivers some behind-the-scenes footage, frequent frog-dancing, and general tomfoolery.

Final Thoughts

As horror, it fails. As comedy, it's kind of a joke. And as an homage to a bunch of truly bad movies, Frog-g-g! can't even get much right in that department. While the flick stands as a reassuring testament to the fact that literally anyone can make a movie, that doesn't mean it's worth much of your time or money. If you're a member of the intended audience (i.e. shameless horror geeks who rent everything monster-related) you might have a better time with Frog-g-g! then I did. But don't hold your breath.