When you go to a restaurant long enough, the waitresses get to know you. At a place I used to frequent, one of the waitresses was formerly a mortician. It is the kind of thing I'm interested in, so she was always glad to talk about different methods and even let me borrow a few books for weeks on end. The opening text crawl to EM Embalming (1999) offers a brief, rudimentary history of embalming and suggests that the films Japanese audience may need such a synopsis because the art of embalming is a bit more exotic and not practiced as much there as it is in the States or Europe.

Miyako Murakami (Reiko Takashima- Black Angel) is an embalmer. Her latest job is working on the corpse of an influential politician's teenage son, Yoshiki, who (apparently?) committed suicide. But, while performing the autopsy, Miyako discovers a needle in his eye and cannot explain its origins. Things complicate further when Miyako receives a threatening phone call from the leader of a local cult/church. The priest warns her that she is violating the natural and spiritual order of life, so she will pay a karmic price for her profession.

Then, Yoshiki's head disappears. Miyako and the assigned detective, Hiroka (the two shairing a prior relationship/flirtation), begin to investigate who made off with the head. Theories abound, from jealous lovers, to the cult, to black market organ dealers. The trail leads Miyako to her own past and how she become obsessed with death and embalming.

This one has a problem I find in a lot of Japanese thrillers, especially the ilk that find their source in novels or manga. Surprise, surprise, EM Emblaming is based on a novel. the problem is, there is just way too much going on. The emphasis seems to be more on delivering some labyrinthine and increasingly convoluted plot twists instead of dramatic tension or character depth. It builds layer upon layer of conspiracy but seems to forget that mystery doesn't equal danger. Sure, EM Embalming has lots of suspects, but it also doesn't have any sense of immanent danger or threat from any of them until the final minutes of the film where it rushes to a conclusion. But, by then, I wasn't really invested in the story or characters, so I didn't particularly care.

The fragility of our bodies is something the average person probably doesn't want to occupy their mind with too much. For most people it is an uncomfortable place to ponder. Unless faced with some sickness, near death experience, or death in your immediate circle, you just don't let it cross your mind. So, if you deal in death everyday, it takes a certain caliber of person. Like that waitress I knew, who said she loved that I was interested in the funerary process because mention of it usually made people squeamish. EM Embalming works best in a few small moments, like when Miyako is embalming Yoshiki's body, but it gets into convoluted mystery more than exploring the interesting terrain of people who deal and thrive around death and the preservation of the lifeless. In the end, EM Embalming is a little too corpselike (there's my bad reviewer pun of the day).

The DVD: Artsmagic.

Picture: Anamorphic Widescreen. Securing good materials and delivering decent transfers of foreign film has about a 60/40 success/failure rate, especially when it comes to smaller films. This is another case where the elements are pretty rough around the edges. The film makers were aiming for an obvious horror look, lots of grain and darkness, as well as some expressive Italian gothic primary color schemes. But, this transfer isn't much to look at- or at least okay to look at, though you'll be squinting- due to some softness. The print is also a little spotty and muddier than I'm sure they intended, making this a low grade (but watchable) affair.

Sound: Dolby Digital 2.0 Stereo or 5.1 Surround. Japanese language with optional English subtitles. Good audio presentation, though the 5.1 surround channel option didn't really have much dynamic mixing or separation. Still, the dialogue is nice and clear, the fx is okay, and the score delivers, even offering up some funeral organ music cues. The subtitle translation is quite good, but they appear a tad fast in places

Extras: Bio/Filmographies.— Interview with director Shinji Aoyama (19:00).— Commentary by author and MidnightEye contributor Jasper Sharp. I've listened to a few Sharp commentaries and, again, he does a good, informed, but dry job of delving into a film's genre history and the particulars of the people who worked on it.

Conclusion: As far as offbeat horror films go, EM Embalming certainly has a lot of weird little threads running through it and some decent direction and acting, however it has one flaw a horror movie just cannot survive- it isn't horrific, it isn't scary, it isn't, in the slightest sense, suspenseful. Artsmagic gives the film a passable presentation with some good extras, so this one is worth a rental for Japanese film fans.