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Lust Connection

POPcinema // Unrated // May 31, 2005
List Price: $19.99 [Buy now and save at Amazon]

Review by Carl Davis | posted August 6, 2005 | E-mail the Author
Jim Wynorski was one of my favorite directors in the '80s, I just never realized it. Is it even conceivable that with the viewing of Lust Connection, I have actually seen as many Wynorski films as I have those of "master" director, Steven Spielberg? I've seen exactly 13 of each director's works (which doesn't even come close to the 18 Takashi Miike films that I own and covet above all else on my DVD shelves, but that's another story), and surprisingly can say that I almost enjoyed them all. I mean, all filmmakers are different and I can think of none more disparate than these two, but when I watch their films, I know exactly what I'm going to get (except for A.I. Artificial Intelligence, no one was ready for that).

I'm not alone when I say that I loved Wynorski's sophomore effort, Chopping Mall, but, hands down, Deathstalker II (1987) is my favorite. In fact, Deathstalker II is still one of my favorite films, a sword and sorcery epic with equal parts camp and sex that skewers the genre as much as reveres it, all on a DIY budget that would make Roger Corman proud. Not to mention a delicious dual role for former Penthouse Pet, Monique Gabrielle. While none of his subsequent films achieved the same level of schlock greatness (that same year's Big Bad Mama II came awfully close), he's continued to make the kind of movies that appeal to a very specific audience, combining hooters with humor and, in the case of Lust Connection, the more serious theme of murder and mammaries.

Lust Connection, which Wynorski filmed under the pseudonym H.R. Blueberry (I guess to reflect the dramatic tone of the film), tells the sad story of Rick (played by "everyman" actor Frank Harper) whose marriage to the blonde and buxom Susan (played by Wynorksi's current muse, the blonde and buxom Glori-Anne Gilbert) just isn't doing it for him anymore. Now, I'm not exactly sure what this guy's problem is. I mean, looing at him, he's a pudgy, balding, middle-aged dude that's married to a somewhat attractive and sexually voracious woman. I guess his successful "computer business" has inflated his ego to the point where he thinks he can get just about anybody.

We see him have sex with his wife no less than three times and Miss Gilbert seems to be more than any one man could even handle much less get tired of. The movie begins with a hot tub romp between Rick and Susan, followed by Susan alone in the hot tub to "finish up." Someone sneaks in while Susan is distracted and strangles her from behind. Now any one of Rick's seven mistresses could be the murderer and he needs to figure out who it was before the cops arrest him as their prime suspect. What follows is a series of flashbacks detailing, some quite explicitly, his numerous amorous trysts.

Let me state for the record that a majority of women in this flick are hardcore porn stars, while the rest are softcore erotic actresses, but they're all attractive and they all get naked quite willingly, so what's the difference? We see Rick as he works out at the gym and Jodie Moore quite obviously puts the moves on him with the tired "Oops, I spilled some beer on my shirt and need to take it off to let it dry" routine. Next we watch as he "chats" on the Internet with a nude Julie K. Smith as she cavorts in her bathtub. She then comes over to his house while his wife is at the market to defile the couple's sofa. There's also a park ranger (Monique Parent), a woman in a hotel room (Holly Hollywood), a woman who wanted to have sex while Rick's wife was home (Avy Scott), a pizza-delivery girl (the legendary Chasey Lain) and a mystery woman named Desiree.

Each and every one of these women is a possible suspect, but with the police all but convinced Rick is the actual killer, he'll need help to prove his innocence. He enlists the aid of Susan's twin-sister Jenny (also played by the now brunette and buxom Glori-Anne Gilbert), still shaken b her sister's murder, but believing in Rick's innocence. To help gain Jenny's trust, he confesses that he had affairs while married to her sister. Jenny says nothing, but already knew of his affairs as one took place while she secretly looked on from a locked closet. Aroused by Rick's salacious stories of infidelity, Jenny tries to get closer to Rick, but will their relationship send Rick to jail?

I don't want to give too much away, but there actually is a bit of a plot amidst the never-ending string of sex scenes. Once again Blueberry… er, I mean Wynorski hit his mark, delivering a sexy thriller with an everyday slob who must surely be the luckiest man on the planet to have such a delectable assortment of beauties killing each other just to have him. Also, I want to give a quick shout out to Miss Gilbert, who really showed her range in this picture and, much like Monique Gabrielle before her, really excelled in the dual role (and also like Miss Gabrielle, she looked much hotter with dark hair).

The DVD:

Picture: This DVD is in a 1.78:1 widescreen presentation, and looks better than any quickly shot DV "erotic thriller" should, with a clear, colorful picture.

Audio: The Dolby 2.0 Stereo Track sounds fine, but would have benefited from a better selection of music during all of the naughty bits.

Extras: Seduction Cinema has included an impressive array of Extras on this disc including a commentary track by Wynorski and Gilbert, the vintage short "Naughty Vintage Peep Show" (1965) and Trailer Vaults featuring dozens of trailers from both Seduction and Retro-Seduction Cinema. However, the greatest bonus has to be the inclusion of another "feature" film: Night Vamps (1998).

Night Vamps is a series of three separate vignettes starring porn stars Kelly Jaye, the unnaturally endowed Lovette and Brittany Andrews, all hosted by a seemingly drunken Glori-Anne Gilbert. These are all just tease shows with the girls doing their thing while seductive music plays, but please be aware that these women are all "professionals" and as such display much more flesh than is usually the case for this type of feature (even revealing the secret location of the "batcave" at times). Kelly Jaye showers and then, as all women should, applies copious amounts of moisturizer, but the overall effect is more instructional than actually erotic. Next up is the over-inflated Lovette, who doffs and dons several outfits during the her segment, at one point doing some extended posing which looks like some kind of horrendously hilarious "jazzercise" when fast forwarded. Glori-Anne is so inspired that she starts to do a striptease of her own.

On the whole, the next segment with the busty Brittany Andrews is my favorite. Things start with the artificially endowed actress posing on a chair before playing the "desperate housewife" in the kitchen. After some luscious upskirt shots, Miss Andrews strips down and raids her fruit basket. She pleasures herself with a banana and an enormous chocolate covered strawberry, although personally I could have done without that chocolate coating. Oh, but the fun doesn't end there as Brittany then treats us, in black elbow length gloves no less, to another tease show as she puts on a black crotchless body-stocking. You'd think that putting ON clothes wouldn't be that interesting, but you'd be wrong. In fact, director/editor Everette Hartsoe must have liked this scene so much he included it twice, before having Brittany finally finish with a baby-oil rubdown on a bed.

The last segment has the host herself, Glori-Anne Gilbert, aroused from having watched all the other "Night Vamps" pleasure themselves, putting on a show of her own. Removing her dress and posing on a bed is just the beginning, as she takes a piece of ice and rubs it over her breasts, stomach, legs and ass (the breasts I understand, but the ass?). Straddling a pillow, she then s-l-o-w-l-y removes her thong. The End. I'm not even going to mention the video/audio quality, but it definitely looks like it was transferred from a 3/4 inch master tape.

Conclusion: So, what have we learned? Well, for one thing, in some circles Jim Wynorski is as much of a draw as Steven Spielberg. While Lust Connection certainly isn't going to win any awards, at least none that I know of, it could still make for a light and enjoyable rental without the unnecessary embarrassment of having to pick out actual porn in your local neighborhood video store. Also, with the impressive collection of Extras and the gratuitous bonus feature that Seduction Cinema have provided, this one actually has the possibility of repeat viewings. Rent It.

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