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Witches of the Caribbean
Image // R // September 20, 2005
List Price: $24.99 [Buy now and save at Amazon]
THE MOVIE
Witches of the Caribbean is laughably bad, but doesn't fall into the ranks of totally unwatchable, although I can't really recommend it. As you can probably guess from the title, this one involves witches whose story takes place in the Caribbean (the movie was shot in the British West Indies). Which makes me ponder about how exactly the film got green-lit...although I'm guessing the conversation went something like this:
"A movie about witches, we don't need another one of those!"
"But it doesn't matter...I've set the story in the Caribbean, so even if the film doesn't come out very good, at least the cast and crew will have fun on the beach!"
"Brilliant! Where do I sign up?!"
The story revolves around the character of Angela (Nicole Cavazos) who keeps having a recurring dream about a woman being burned at the stake on the beach of an island. She travels to an island (yep, you guessed it...the same one where the dream takes place) to begin sessions with a psychiatrist played by Joanna Cassidy, whose written dialogue is so dreadfully cheesy the director should have just named her character "Ms. Exposition".
The psychiatrist's other patients all have something in common...they've been having the same dream as Angela, and the rest of the movie is spend trying to figure out the mystery of the dream while patient after patient disappears after getting their heart ripped out by a mysterious witch who is roaming the island (walking in slow motion in a sexy black outfit, to boot!).
If there's a bright spot to all this, it's actress Nicole Marie Monica, who plays one of the young patients who firmly believes she's a witch. Nicole adds a spark of sexiness to the movie – something this R-rated title is in desperate need of (despite the R-rating, there's very little in the way of gore and no nudity whatsoever...come on...throw us a bone here!).
THE DVD
Video:
The movie is presented in 1.85:1 anamorphic widescreen, and while there's a lot of grain in the picture, there's very little in the way of dirt or other defects on the print. It's about the kind of transfer you'd expect for a low budget movie like this one – nothing remarkable, but nothing that distracts from one's viewing enjoyment.
Audio:
The audio is presented in 2.0 Dolby, and sounds fairly good for a 2.0 track. There are a few rock songs during the movie (including an odd almost video-like montage at one point that seems totally out of place), so these are the spots where you'll most appreciate the audio track.
Extras:
Other than a chapter selection, the only extras on this DVD are five Trailers, one of which is a non-anamorphic trailer for Witches of the Caribbean.
THE BOTTOM LINE
I'm not a fan of either gratuitous violence or gratuitous nudity – but darn if this movie didn't need some! It's a rather boring affair, only made watchable by the attractiveness of the cast (yes, that Joanna Cassidy is a hottie!). You might want to check it out if you see it playing on Cinemax in the wee hours of the morning, but as a DVD purchase, I say skip it.
Witches of the Caribbean is laughably bad, but doesn't fall into the ranks of totally unwatchable, although I can't really recommend it. As you can probably guess from the title, this one involves witches whose story takes place in the Caribbean (the movie was shot in the British West Indies). Which makes me ponder about how exactly the film got green-lit...although I'm guessing the conversation went something like this:
"A movie about witches, we don't need another one of those!"
"But it doesn't matter...I've set the story in the Caribbean, so even if the film doesn't come out very good, at least the cast and crew will have fun on the beach!"
"Brilliant! Where do I sign up?!"
The story revolves around the character of Angela (Nicole Cavazos) who keeps having a recurring dream about a woman being burned at the stake on the beach of an island. She travels to an island (yep, you guessed it...the same one where the dream takes place) to begin sessions with a psychiatrist played by Joanna Cassidy, whose written dialogue is so dreadfully cheesy the director should have just named her character "Ms. Exposition".
The psychiatrist's other patients all have something in common...they've been having the same dream as Angela, and the rest of the movie is spend trying to figure out the mystery of the dream while patient after patient disappears after getting their heart ripped out by a mysterious witch who is roaming the island (walking in slow motion in a sexy black outfit, to boot!).
If there's a bright spot to all this, it's actress Nicole Marie Monica, who plays one of the young patients who firmly believes she's a witch. Nicole adds a spark of sexiness to the movie – something this R-rated title is in desperate need of (despite the R-rating, there's very little in the way of gore and no nudity whatsoever...come on...throw us a bone here!).
THE DVD
Video:
The movie is presented in 1.85:1 anamorphic widescreen, and while there's a lot of grain in the picture, there's very little in the way of dirt or other defects on the print. It's about the kind of transfer you'd expect for a low budget movie like this one – nothing remarkable, but nothing that distracts from one's viewing enjoyment.
Audio:
The audio is presented in 2.0 Dolby, and sounds fairly good for a 2.0 track. There are a few rock songs during the movie (including an odd almost video-like montage at one point that seems totally out of place), so these are the spots where you'll most appreciate the audio track.
Extras:
Other than a chapter selection, the only extras on this DVD are five Trailers, one of which is a non-anamorphic trailer for Witches of the Caribbean.
THE BOTTOM LINE
I'm not a fan of either gratuitous violence or gratuitous nudity – but darn if this movie didn't need some! It's a rather boring affair, only made watchable by the attractiveness of the cast (yes, that Joanna Cassidy is a hottie!). You might want to check it out if you see it playing on Cinemax in the wee hours of the morning, but as a DVD purchase, I say skip it.
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