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Seemingly produced for the cost of dinner at a particularly swanky restaurant, Jennifer Marchese's Hot Parts is a consistently laughable low-budget crime flick. Alas, it's not a comedy.
Basically, if you've seen one movie about three strippers who infiltrate a stolen car racket in order to figure out who murdered the head stripper's little brother, you've pretty much seen 'em all.
Kenya Moore stars as "Passion," a stripper so alluring and in demand that she has a "no nudity" clause in her contract. Passion has a little brother (Sticky Fingaz) who steals cars for what's clearly a very low-budget mafia franchise, but when he decides to quit for good (unwisely telling Mafia Dude to kiss his ass) he ends up with a bullet where it shouldn't be.
So off goes Passion, with her two hottie henchwomen in tow, to steal some cars for Mafia Dude while trying to get some evidence on the murder.
So it's not exactly the newest (or most interesting) story under the sun, which could be overlooked if Hot Parts didn't look like a community theater rehearsal that just happened to be caught on film. The direction is bland, the acting is terrible, the whole thing feels like it was put together in five nights.
But hey, it's not every day you get to see the bartender from The Love Boat, so as a shout-out to good ol' Ted Lange, we'll let this one off easy: Hot Parts is just plain old bad, and it'll take you about 120 seconds of running time before you realize the kind of bad I'm talking about.
Video: A fairly grungy-looking full frame delivery.
Audio: Dolby Digital 5.1 with optional Spanish subtitles.
The Hot Parts trailer and some cast/crew bios.
Tami Anderson, a refugee from MTV's The Real World, gets a speaking role here. I mention it only because some people like The Real World and not because it's a particularly strong performance.