Another favorite (although only two titles are represented) in our daughter's library is Miss Spider. She likes the illustrations that fairly glow from within, we like the other-worldly conceit, a matronly spider whom other bugs fear must work to show everyone she's OK, and then she buys a car with her dweeby husband. I said we only had two books, OK? Nonetheless, the artwork is beautiful, Miss Spider is a sweetie and creator David Kirk's sensibilities are decidedly outfield. We wondered, then, how would Miss Spider translate to the TV screen?

In this nominal holiday offering, Miss Spider fares only OK. Just two of the six episodes on this 70-minute disk relate to the Chrismanuzaa holiday conglomerate, which is OK by me, as it seems all of the good holiday songs and cartoon specials have already been created. The remaining four episodes are of the generic kids-learn-how-to-behave variety currently popular. Everything is hyper-bright, extremely colorful, bouncy and upbeat, and Kristin Davis voices Miss Spider not too sweetly. Her family consists of a number of non-spider children, one of whom - a two-legged bedbug named Bounce - sounds like a South Park reject. Short songs briefly, if cloyingly, liven up most episodes, but the spark of anything other than technical creativity is lacking. The bugs tend toward simple character types without unique personalities, and the stories suffer from cursory plotting. This is one cartoon series that should have hewed more closely to Kirk's original premise and given kids some credit to be able to absorb quirkiness.

Each episode is an easily digestible 11-minutes long and include the holiday good deeds lesson, Humbug with the disturbing looking Spiderus, and the being with family is most important lesson of Dashing Through the Snow. Top O' Big Tree allows dad and kids to conquer fear, Seeing Straight teaches tots to do the right thing, Spider Mom proves once again that winning isn't everything, and Best Bug Buddies entreats young minds to give new and different kids a chance.

Except for freakish Spiderus and wife, the young ones will love Kirk's wide-eyed cutesy bugs, the popping colors and nifty retina-searing 3D computer animation. It's difficult to tell whether the level of story-telling will be interesting enough for kids old enough to absorb the messages - certainly adults will find this a selection to park the kids in front of while doing the dishes, rather than an entertaining shared experience - and as a purported holiday collection, it's a bust without much shelf-life. But you know there are far worse things to fob of on the wee ones for 10 - 20 minutes.

The DVD

Video:
Miss Spider weaves her web in the fullscreen 1.33:1 fashion, and it looks fantabulous, since it's an all-digital affair. It probably looks better on your HD set than it looked on the Mac monitor on which it was originally rendered.

Sound:
English and Spanish Dolby Digital 2.0 audio tracks are obviously stereo-centric, and are loud and clear. No simpering bug voice nor saccharine tune will go unheard.

Extras:
Lionsgate includes Trailers for the Bratz live-action movie, Peppa Pig, (a British cartoon that looks quite nice) Bratz Super Babyz, (creepy and annoying as hell by all rights) Betsy Bubblegum's Journey Through Yummi-Land, (ooof) and Doodlebops: Get On the Bus, (indescribable, but looks kind of ... awesome) as the primary extra. An intro selection doles out Miss Spider's theme song, and a 'splash page' promises 'spiderific' features and activities. Apparently sitting your butt down is now considered an activity.

Final Thoughts:
We love Miss Spider, but not this DVD. With only a 33% connection to the holidays, it seems deceitfully packaged. Furthermore, while it's wholesome and sweet, it's overwhelmed by blandness not present in the books. Kids will certainly enjoy it a few times, probably until age three or four, so it might be a good one for your arsenal of time-killers, however I'll advise you to Rent It to see if you or your kids can stomach it more than once.

www.kurtdahlke.com