Well, my mind is blown. I thought Reality TV was about real people doing real things, but Hef's bevy of buxom blondes has proved me wrong. I guess even that average cross-section of society that gets stranded on an island to fight with each other American Gladiator style doesn't really represent reality. Give me the pink boa proxy that grants entrée into a world where you have so much money that you don't know what to do with yourself any day. That's Hef's world (though he keeps busy ensuring the money doesn't stop flowing) and for decades he's shared the fantasy with wholesome 20-year-old girls - for a few years each anyway - and for three seasons now he's granted us eyes on the land where you don't have to grow up, you just have to keep body parts pointed to the stars.

We get to follow along as Hef's three girlfriends, Holly, (the diplomat) Bridget, (the realist) and Kendra (the bratty kid sister) are back to have fun and get things done on Hef's dime, all the while maintaining a playmate's circle of sisterly love. Hef pokes his fatherly head into their lives every now and again to give them a kiss on the cheek and maybe a definition from his unabashed dictionary while keeping a mystique borne of too many years as bemused king. Meanwhile, the girls give out with the likes, dislikes, turn-ons and such. Kendra likes sleeping and dislikes effort. She's turned on by things the producers - off camera - dissuade her from discussing, such as when she almost describes a circumstance in which her ass hurt as much as it does after she and the other playmates go horseback riding.

Mostly, the show follows the three girls as they keep busy in their hyper-dorm lives. For 22-minutes a shot, they pursue careers, investments, additional photo-shoots and do group-bonding activities together and with other playmates. Holly does what she can to tie Hef down, to no avail. When not acting as apprentice photo editor (what better way to eventually marry Mr. Hefner than becoming an invaluable asset to his company?) she's dropping hints that she wants to be the only number one by talking wedding plans with Hef's secretary Mary. Bridget continues to be her bubbly, happy-just-to-be-here self, working hard to become a broadcast host - any medium - and be a good mom to her dog and cat.

Speaking of Bridget's dog, one hilarious episode sees Pekingese Wednesday getting obedience training while Kendra gets etiquette lessons. A brilliant juxtaposition, with Wednesday coming out on top. Other eps have the girls snowboarding with Shaun White in Vail, Getting naked in Vegas, working on the new Girls Next Door calendar or cheering on Kendra as she revs up for the Toyota Celebrity Grand Prix. These glimpses into the girls' lives are long on goofy fun and short on what we want (or don't want) to know. Things like; is sex involved, how do the girls really feel about being members of volumes of bevies of Hef's GFs (He's surely slowing down as he gets older, but ... come on!) and how exactly do exes get that way? But despite the lack of real dirt, for obviously engineered reasons we can't help but come to love these girls, and even Mr. Hefner - bless his heart with his standard soup meals and hard-boiled eggs and celery hearts - he's done a singularly amazing thing with his life, with men's culture, and he really seems to love his three honeys. Holly has her bright eyes and sincere longing, Bridget with her unsinkable (though often teary) spirit, heck, even Kendra's laugh grows on you.

The Girls Next Door is either the apex of Reality Television or a sign that Rome is burning again. Like a box of Christmas chocolates, once you dig in you can't stop luxuriating in the creamy, candy-colored centers with which this series brims - it's addictive, decadent and shamefully fun. Hef probably had similar adjectives in mind when dreaming up Playboy originally, and now the show has breathed new life into an empire that was of late flagging. Good show, Hef, good show!

The DVD

Video:
The episodes are presented in their original broadcast, fullscreen, 1.33:1 aspect ratio. They are razor sharp, with eye-popping colors, (and then some) immaculate detail (and them some) and simple all-around awesomeness.

Sound:
Dolby Digital English Stereo Audio is superior. We're not looking for booming bass and tricky audio effects, but we are happy to get crystal clear audio with easily audible dialog and goofy background music. But we do wish we could get that theme song out of our heads.

Extras:
The anatomy of The Girls Next Door: Season Three is enhanced with a nice complement of extras. The one-hour (more like 50 minutes) Behind The Scenes Special, "Bedtime Stories: The Best of The Girls Next Door" finds Hef and gals lounging on his huge bed watching clips from all three seasons. They reminisce about their most and least favorite parts of the series, sharing laughs and fond moments. It's a great summation of the series and whets appetites for the first two seasons, (for newbies like myself) if not actually much of a behind-the-scenes expose - hell, the whole series is kind-of behind the scenes. Each episode from Season Three can be viewed with or without Episode Promos, Optional Uncensored Audio, (essential) and one to five Deleted and Extended Scenes. Additionally, each episode comes with Audio Commentary from Bridget, Kendra and Holly. The commentaries are often amusing and do fill us in on some of the deeper realities behind the scenarios, but unlike the sprightly 22-minute episodes, don't have the same deft editing to make them really zing. The deleted and extended scenes are also just about as entertaining as the show proper (minus the goofy VH-1-style pop-up graphics etc.) and one can certainly understand how the producers would have a lot of decent stuff left over after paring each ep down to 22 minutes. The pedestrian stuff rounds out each of three dual-layer discs with English and Spanish Subtitles, Closed Captioning and Scene Selections for each episode.

Final Thoughts:
The Girls Next Door: Season Three, arrives on DVD in the form of three dual-layer discs housing all 14 complete and unedited episodes, in three slim cases warmly cradled in the bosom of a paperboard sleeve. From the rarified air of the utterly unreal life of Hef's three gal-pals comes perhaps the ultimate of Reality TV shows. The Girls Next Door lovingly jabs at 'blonde moments,' Mr. Hefner's Midwest regal mien and the general boob-flashing circus that is 'life' at the Playboy mansion. Gala parties featuring A-list guests all the way down to Pauly Shore, Kendra challenging everyone to 'get f*cking naked' and jump into a luxury pool and mansion staff members explaining that they 'don't tell Mr. Hefner what to do' - it's all here for your insatiable appetite for amusement. The girls act as our proxy into a life that only a micro-fraction of people will ever even briefly experience, while their foibles, fears and fun-bags keep them lovable and lusty. Seemingly empty-headed and totally calorie-free, The Girls Next Door is some of the most fun that TV twenty-first century-style has to offer. Addictive, way-entertaining and overflowing with boobs, The Girls Next Door: Season Three is, for the unrepentant TV-hound, definitely Recommended.

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