THE FILM

On the elevator button scale of horror, I would say that "P2" is not as scary as "LL1," but a massive improvement over "GRND LVL."

Stuck working overtime at her office, Angela (Rachael Nichols, "Alias") is in a rush to meet her family for Christmas. When her car won't start, she enlists the help of Thomas (Wes Bentley), the parking garage security officer. Seemingly affable and flirty, it turns out Thomas is a psychopath who's had his eye on Angela for some time. Kidnapping and locking her away in his office, Thomas plans a quaint holiday evening around forcing Angela to fall in love with him. When she resists, it sets off a chain of murder, torture, and revenge that ruins Christmas forever.

There's some hope offered in the opening credits of "P2" in the form of producer Alexandre Aja, the director of the magnificent "High Tension" and the "Hills Have Eyes" remake. Seeing his name attached to the screenplay immediately affirms that this throwaway horror film might not be so throwaway after all. Well...so much for the promise of screen credits.

Aja isn't the director for this exercise in parking garage havoc. That honor goes to Franck Khalfoun, a newcomer and associate of Aja's, getting his feet wet with a routine suspense concoction that will more likely put the viewer to sleep than give them the scare of their life.

Setting a thriller in a confined area isn't a bad idea, but you'd be surprised just how flavorless a parking garage can be. Khalfoun isn't accomplished enough a filmmaker to jolt this story to life, and he lazily depends on boo scares and strange displays of fairly graphic gore to keep the crowds interested. It just isn't enough, especially when lady logic is furiously beating down the door (I never knew one could rip off a fingernail passively reaching for a cell phone on the ground) and the acting couldn't be worse if it tried.

The main offender is Wes Bentley, who, after his display of cream puff badassery in last year's "Ghost Rider," should consider a career path in which he never plays a villain again. With a cheeseball Abercrombie model stare and internet-café-regular skin color, Bentley isn't the least bit menacing, and I swear to God there should be a law against actors with feminine voices taking roles that require a great deal of screaming. It's hilarious, which is most certainly not the intention of "P2."

THE DVD

Visual

The anamorphic widescreen (2.35:1 aspect ratio) presentation of "P2" retains nice detail, keeping the Christmas-flavored colors strong and black levels acceptable during scenes of complex shadow photography. It's a good-looking transfer, showcasing the film's luster agreeably.

Audio

The 5.1 Dolby Digital sound mix for "P2" keeps the scares of the movie lively with specific attention to the moody, echoy atmospherics of the location. Boo scares retain a righteous pop, while dialog and score selections are presented with professional clarity and depth.

Extras

A feature-length audio commentary with director Franck Khalfoun, and producers Alexandre Aja and Gregory Levasseur is somewhat of a battle to listen to, due to the thick French accents of the producers. For a picture as carelessly executed as "P2," the track reveals the filmmakers certainly had a game plan with their movie, divulging inside jokes to a future Aja production; describing the importance of keeping the "P2" title; covering the troubles that came with trying to craft a thriller in 25 shooting days; complaining how the marketing ruined the "P2" twists; and generally debating the motivations of the characters and the overall logic of the movie. I suppose if the film worked for you, the featherweight information distributed here might be of some use.

"Tension Nouveau: Presenting Franck Khalfoun" (3 minutes) is a bit of a revelation: showing off Khalfoun as a basketball-jersey-wearin', ballcap-askew caricature who, for reasons still unexplained, was given the keys to direct a feature film.

"A New Level of Fear: The Making of 'P2'" (12 minutes) is nothing but pure EPK fluff, covering the shooting of the film with minimal depth and maximum praise. Some of the production footage is interesting, but it's a grain of sand on the beach of generic promotion.

"Designing Terror" (5 minutes) takes a look at the production design elements of "P2," showing the effort put into creating the parking lot set and how the filmmakers tried to make the claustrophobic space a special character of the film.

Trailers for "P2" and "Never Back Down" are included.

FINAL THOUGHTS

The rest of "P2" is standard-issue thriller "entertainment," only there's a curious lack of invention to the piece and not a drop of emotional investment. The experience consists mostly of watching bad talent interact interminably without ever achieving a plot point and counting how many times the movie wets down Nichols's ample cleavage. This is not horror. This is not much of a thriller either. It just stinks, and even worse, it's unbelievably boring.