Reviewer's Bias*
Loves: Good Mockumentaries
Likes: Cheesy bad movies
Dislikes: Lame humor
Hates: This "movie"

The Show
I really don't know why I keep doing this to myself. When I hear the phrase "mockumentary," I'm like a hungry baby bird, looking for a cinematic morsel to satisfy the desire Christopher Guest instilled in me with his wonderful takes on the genre, like Waiting for Guffman and A Mighty Wind. But it seems like every time I take a bite of one of these films, I come up with mouthful of crap. Sadly. Endless Orgy may just be the worst example I've ever seen.

Part of the problem is this is not a mockumentary. It's basically a trailer compilation of the films Something Weird specializes in, with some occasional talking head moments floating about. The commentators, all made-up experts, try to add some humor to the proceedings, but they are either over the top or just unfunny. One example, a supposed nipple expert, claims to have worked on a government project to shock penguin nipples. Looking at that reference in print though, it's not an unfunny concept, but in the film, it just didn't work. When, at one point, one of the experts shows some of the era's dance moves, I just wanted to shut the DVD off, it was so embarrassing.

Yet, even worse, is when the film gets bored of it's own concept, and goes in a whole new direction, watching legendary exploitation star Chesty Morgan's Deadly Weapons, with occasional commentary by "Nadia Kozlov," a grindhouse expert from, get this, Georgetown Middle School. At 16 years of age (as quick research found), this very young-looking girl, complete with a mouth full of braces, talks about Morgan's well-endowed chest and the film's plot every now and then, resulting in a wholly uncomfortable segment that lasts anexcruciating 15 minutes. It's simply not right to watch this woman playing with her massive breasts, and then have this girl talk about "the master of cleavage." Even if it was at all entertaining, it still wouldn't feel right.

Maybe if the old flicks had been limited to just clips instead of full trailers, or perhaps if there was even a slight attempt to make the experts seem realistic, this could have been an enjoyable DVD to watch. But as it stands, it's ponderous. F-ing ponderous. There's not even an ending! The only thing the creators (a loosely-used term to be sure) got right is the music, which is perfect for the genre. Maybe if they put out a CD of the soundtrack I could recommend that instead.

The DVD
A one-disc release, this DVD arrives in a standard keepcase, with an animated full-frame menu that offers options to watch the film, select scenes and check out the extras. There are no audio options, no subtitles and no closed captioning.

The Quality
The full-frame transfer is a mix of clean, but soft video on the new talking-head moments, and old trailers that have a variety of quality levels, though most are moderately clear, with some expected dirt and damage throughout. The colors are a bit over-saturated on the new footage, while the majority of the old stuff is either black and white or monotone, with old-looking color (read: dull and light) in select spots, including the Chesty Morgan material. There's nothing impressive about the fresh material, and the old footage is just what you've seen before.

The audio is a simple Dolby Digital 2.0 track, and it delivers the sound straight down the middle, keeping everything easy to hear. There's no noticeable separation between the channels.

The Extras
All you get here is the movie's trailer, which is effective in getting you interested (as in, there's a lot of T&A), and previews for other Pathfinder films.

The Bottom Line
If you're looking to get your money's worth in buying a DVD, this is a great pick-up, because for an 82-minute film, it seems to last for an eternity. There's not even much of a movie, just a never-ending parade of bad-movie trailers, with some moments of bad comedy in between, attempting to pull everything together, but all they do is make the pain last a little longer. If you really want to see some cheesy goodness, just get one of Something Weird's trailer compilations, and enjoy. There's nothing here, from the OK quality to the lack to extras, to make this DVD worth your time.

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*The Reviewer's Bias section is an attempt to help readers use the review to its best effect. By knowing where the reviewer's biases lie on the film's subject matter, one can read the review with the right mindset.