The Movie:
Morgan Spurlock was able to simultaneously shock and amuse in his superb Super Size Me, which exposed the hazards of fast food eating to the public at large (emphasis on large). Producer Spurlock attempts to do the same thing in this feature for the vast consumer culture built up around Christmas, but for varying reasons, this outing in considerably less satisfying than Spurlock's other endeavors.

Focusing on a performance artist who goes by the name of Reverend Billy (Bill Talen, who resembles a blonde John Michael Higgins of the Christopher Guest films), and his Stop Shopping Gospel Choir, which travels the country in this documentary attending both churches and shopping malls in equal measure attempting to spread their "good news" that shopping mania need not accompany the festivities of Christmas, What Would Jesus Buy? is simultaneously an anti-shopping travelogue and screed against the big-box retailers and malls which are destroying small town America. This absolutely laudable thesis finds little if any traction, however, as all of the interrelated "expert commentary" and the bulk of man on the street (or in the mall) interviews agree with it. The only contrary voices are basically a montage of newscasters at the opening of the piece urging everyone to "shop 'til you drop."

Talen certainly inhabits his role (if it can even be called that) with the zealotry usually confined to your average Benny Hinn or Rod Parsley. With perfect ministerial over-enunciation, he's too "real" to be perfectly funny, and also obviously too deeply invested in the message he wants to spread to take advantage of the humorous elements at his disposal. The humor, such as it is, comes from watching the stunned reactions of shoppers and, frequently, the law enforcement officials called upon to restore consumer "order" in the marketplace. And Talen's interaction with several salespeople is beyond awkward and left me wanting to say, "Don't blame these poor people for Wal-Mart's evils--they're just trying to make a living." The Choir is fantastic, with several parodies that are actually laugh out loud funny, especially when they go caroling and stun people on their own porches.

The weird anti-Disney take of Talen is never fully explained (note, for instance, the font on the DVD cover, which is utilized throughout the film), though I guess the subtext is that Disney somehow represents rampant consumerism at its most ostensibly evil. Talen's wide-eyed rants about the abomination that is Mickey Mouse I don't think are meant to be taken seriously, but they're seriously weird, nonetheless. The climax of this piece, which travels the country over the month or so before Christmas stopping at such modern Sodoms as the Mall of America, is a Disneyland showdown on Christmas Day itself that is patently anti-climactic. Anyone who has been to Disneyland knows you can't so much as drop a napkin without a security person instantaneously appearing to sanitize the area, and Talen is only able to get out about four words before he is summarily arrested and shipped off to the Anaheim jail to mull over his errant behavior.

What Would Jesus Buy? certainly has its heart in the right place, but unfortunately suffers from a lack of real humor that could have made its proselytizing a little less heavy-handed. I'm sure Talen won't mind if I tell you not to waste your money on it.

The DVD

Video:
This check disc looked fine, despite an omnipresent superimposed "for screening only" banner. The 1.78:1 image is enhanced and sports good color and clarity.

Sound:
The stereo soundtrack has decent fidelity, though no real separation to speak of.

Extras:
Several extras are advertised on the DVD cover, but this check disc only played the feature in an endless loop, offering no menu whatsoever.

Final Thoughts:
Would Jesus recommend you rent something to check it out? There's a good message here, if delivered with a sledgehammer, so, even if Jesus won't, I recommend a rental of What Would Jesus Buy?.

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"G-d made stars galore" & "Hey, what kind of a crappy fortune is this?" ZMK, modern prophet